The Gift
by SeaKat
Summary: Dean and Sam are always protecting others. Who is protecting them? A strange woman comes into their lives and they are changed forever. Not the typical love story. Please Review and give honest feedback.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural. I am just a fan who enjoys the show and has a vivid imagination. If you read this, please review. Be it praise, suggestions as to where to go with the story, or complaints, I am open to it all. (If there is something that you don't like, please be respectful when you tell me. Im open to constructive critiscism. It only makes us better writers!) I hope you enjoy! Smooches- Kat**

"You are such a dick!" Sam exclaimed to his brother. "We have been listening to the same mullet rock BS for the past 5 hours. Can't you just try to…" Sam's voice trailed off. "Why is a young girl walking on the side of the road in the dark?"

Dean hadn't been paying attention to his brother's whining. He saw the girl before Sam did. She was petite, wearing dark jeans, a black leather jacket that hung to her knees, and black boots with 5 inch silver stiletto heels…

"I don't know, Sammy. But I can see that those boots weren't meant for walking," a smirk curled his lips. "We can see if she needs a ride. It's about 60 miles to the nearest town."

The Impala rolled to a stop and the engine halted. The girl glanced over her shoulder, anxious. Who the fuck were these two boneheads? And what did they want?

"Miss? Are you okay? Do you need a ride?" Sam asked. Trying to sound soothing and concerned, flashing his best puppy eyes. She was quite lovely; he didn't want to frighten her.

"I don't take rides with strange men. I'll be fine, but thank you anyway." She had tried to sound as bitchy as she could. Fear creeping through her veins. What were they thinking? Were they delinquents or 'nice' guys? If she needed to, could she fight them? An expert at hand to hand combat, she had felled many men with one hit, but these two had an ire about them. The passenger looked sweet enough, but the driver…He looked like he had just stepped out of an old James Dean movie. He had a cocky smirk and his green eyes looked older than his years. He was a man who had seen and done things.

"Look. We are just trying to help you out. It is 60 miles to the nearest town, and a young girl like you doesn't need to be on a dark highway. But if you want to act all bitchy and walk alone in the dark, that's on you," Dean said as he started up the engine.

It would be nice to sit down, she thought. And they were really cute…the driver with a chiseled face. His short hair messy, but cut like a military man…memories. The passenger was like a puppy, adorable. He had dimples and a baby face, but those broad shoulders….She didn't know if it was fatigue or raging hormones that changed her mind. Of course, she always had protection: a 9mm strapped to her thigh, a silver dagger on her ankle, and a backpack full of other surprises. Worse comes to worse, shot 'em.

"Hey, wait!" She sashayed to the car. She had been told her walk was hypnotizing. The way her rounded hips swayed to a rhythm only she could hear. For a short girl, baby walked like a dancer. "I didn't mean to be hateful. I've been walking for a week. A lady can't be too careful. There are monsters out there…" her face was calm, but her eyes glinted with a hidden amusement. If only they knew, she mused. Something in her gut told her they just might.

"We understand. Let me help you with your bag," Sam said, getting out of the car. He felt odd. When the girl, woman, he corrected himself, spoke, it was smooth, sultry. Without trying, she had seduced him with her voice, so warm, with a slight southern drawl. He imagined what his name would sound like as she called it out… Dean had been searching for a clear radio station and hadn't heard her voice. But as she climbed in the car, he could smell her scent: jasmine with a hint of something…it was a deep, almost spicy scent. No perfume could mimic that, it was her, raw and natural. It made a heat creep into his groin.

"Everybody settled?" once his brother had shut the door. Then he turned around to the girl in the back. "My name is Dean. This is my brother, Sammy."

"Ugh! It's Sam. I haven't been Sammy since I was 8."

"Alright, Sammy."

"Dean!'

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dean and Sam," she smiled, shaking their large, calloused hands. She could feel both men holding back, controlling strength that could have crushed her delicate fingers. It was clear that they weren't accustomed to shaking a lady's hand. "I am Katherine Sebastina Cristos. You can call Kay."

"I'm guessing your parents are Catholic?" Dean quipped. "That's a helluva name."

"I was named after St. Katherine, the patron saint of the ill and injured and St. Sebastian, the patron saint of soldiers. Cristos is my father's family name. Do you have last names, Dean and Sam?'

"Winchester." They spoke in unison. Holy crap! Dean looked at his brother. If their Dad were alive, he would slap them both. First rule: never tell a stranger your real name.

"Let's roll." Dean flashed a smile towards Kay as the Impala growled on the shoulder, spitting gravel as he pulled out.

* * *

The 60 miles to town was an eternity. Both boys had been eyeing the woman, trying to figure her out. She had a small, delicate frame. It belied her age. At around 5 ft, and 100lbs soaking wet, Kay looked more like a teenager swimming in the leather jacket than a woman. She had taken the jacket off and draped it over her lap to reveal a figure that was all woman…and a 9mm tethered to her right thigh. She had lean, catlike muscles. Her every movement was graceful and controlled, like a well choreographed ballet. She had large, perky breasts which strained against the fabric of her black, long sleeved v-neck shirt. The jeans hugged every curve of her firm, athletic legs. She had short, auburn hair, tousled like she had just rolled out of bed after a long session of…

"DEAN!!"

Sam's cry had woken Dean from his daydream just in time to narrowly avoid a head on collision with a semi, not again. "FUCK ME!!" Dean exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I guess I dozed," he lied.

Sam told him to pull over, that he would drive. Sam needed to drive, to get his mind off of her. She mesmerized him. They switched drivers.

"So what's with the gun?" Dean turned to face her.

"One can never be too careful. My dad gave it to me a long time ago after I was mugged. I never go anywhere without it." She flashed a mischievous smile. "Does it make you nervous?"

"Not at all. I've always liked a woman that can take care of herself, "he winked. Was she blushing?

"Wake me when we get to town." Kay curled into a ball, her leather jacket a blanket. And she slept. Dean leaned against the window and fell asleep, lips curled in a satisfied grin.

* * *

Sam was lost in thought behind the wheel. He knew his brother. Dean had been fantasizing about Kay's body when he crossed into oncoming traffic. So had he, sort of. While she was exquisite, her body was not what same was thinking of. It was her face, her eyes in particular. She had flawless alabaster skin. It looked as soft as silk. He just wanted to touch and caress it. He knew her delicate skin would be repulsed at his rough, calloused hands. He regretted not using lotion more often. He made a mental not to buy some at the next store. So what if Dean called him a girl. It would be worth it. She had rosebud lips, perfectly formed, so kissable and full. DSL's as Dean would call them. He wondered what it would taste like to kiss those lips...strawberries or honey. Then there were her eyes. Bedroom eyes. Perfectly almond shaped with long heavy lashes. He had already noticed that she observed everything through those lashes. She seemed self-conscious and he could not figure out why. When she did look directly into your eyes, it was breathtaking. She had clear, vibrant green eyes with tiny flecks of gold in them. Her eyes were full of compassion, sadness, and determination. Her face, as angelic as it was, could be calm and emotionless, but those eyes told the story. She gave herself with those eyes, and took everything you had at the same time. She saw into your soul and didn't judge.

* * *

They drove. And drove. "Was that sign right? This is a long ass 60 miles," Dean grumbled. He was right. It did seem long. Had they past the exit? And they drove. She slept. Dean gazed back at her. Why was it that when he looked at her, his heart skipped a beat? Why did he feel so calm, so comfortable, so at peace? It freaked him out, but he couldn't stop looking at the delicate china doll in his back seat. He felt protective of her. He didn't know why or how, but he felt a primal want, a NEED, to make sure she was safe.

At 3 a.m., they found another town. Why they couldn't find the first was unknown. Who cared? They were exhausted. The hunt from 48 hours ago had taken everything. The poltergeist had tossed the boys around like ragdolls. Dean had dislocated his shoulder, been thrown through a window, and broken one maybe two fingers. Sam had a concussion, a split lip, and a cut that ran the length of his thigh. His stitches were itching like crazy and he just wanted a shower.

Dean looked down at the sleeping woman. He didn't have the heart to wake her, so he lifted her in his arms. Her head fit just right in against his chest. She snuggled closer in her sleep, a little smile crossing her face. Must be a good dream, Dean chuckled to himself. "Hey! Sam. Can you grab the bags? Throw one over my shoulder, she is so damn tiny! Dude, you were bigger than her at 9!"

"I was chubby back then. That is still a touchy subject for me, you jerk!"

"I still luv ya, bitch."

"You are such an ass. Go get inside."

* * *

The room had two queen beds, a roll out couch, a kitchenette, and a large bathroom. It was not as sleazy or rundown as most of the places they had stayed in. Dean hadn't wanted Kay to wake up in a no tell motel thinking the boys had done something to her while she slept.

"I'll take the couch, Sammy."

"You need the bed. You got thrown out of a window," the younger brother protested.

"Dude, I said I would take the couch. Now get your Sasquatch ass in the shower, so I can get cleaned up too. Don't use all the hot water!"

Sam started to argue, but the look in Dean's eyes told him to back off. He still had the girl in his arms. "If you wake her with your whiney, bitchass comments, I will kick your ass." Sam could see he meant it. He huffed off to the bathroom.

Dean laid the girl gently on the bed. She stirred briefly. The neck of her shirt slid down and Dean caught a glimpse of something that made his blood boil. Scars. They ran down her exposed neck to places under the shirt he didn't know. Horrible scars, like she had been caught in a fire, or worse, tortured. He remembered the scar stained bodies from Hell, his included. When he was pulled from the pit, they had been erased, save the handprint on his shoulder...A constant reminder of a destiny he didn't want... What, who, could have done that to such a beautiful, delicate creature? She radiated warmth and kindness. In that moment, he made up his mind. He would find what had done that to her, make it suffer, and then spend the rest of his time on Earth making sure it never happened again. Regardless of if she wanted him around, he would be there, her guardian, her protector.

That was how Sam found Dean 30 minutes later. He was sitting beside Kay, staring at her. Memorizing her. "What are you doing?"

"Hush, nothing. I'm going to hit the shower."

Sam had misinterpreted the look in his brother's eyes. He thought Dean wanted to get the girl in bed like he does with every other barfly. Sam would not allow that to happen. That girl was special. There was something inside him, perhaps the psychic, which told him she was different. He could not let his brother screw around with her emotions, her heart like he did with every other woman. This girl deserved better, and Sam could give it to her.

* * *

The brothers had fitful sleep that night. Neither would admit it, but they both dreamt of her. The smell of fresh coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls roused them from slumber. The shower was on and humming came from the slightly cracked door. There was no fan in the bathroom so to release the heat and steam; the door had to be opened a little. "You two awake?"

"Yeah..." they groaned. It was so early.

"I made breakfast. I wanted to say thank you for the ride and for letting me stay here last night. I haven't slept in a real bed in a while."

The boys glanced at each other. Both blushing, neither wanting to let the other know they desperately wanted to open the door and take a closer look. It was Sam who grabbed Dean's arm and lead him to the kitchenette. "Don't you dare! She isn't some waitress from the run down diner or a drunken barfly."

"RELAX, Sammy. I would never disrespect a lady like that! Besides, she made breakfast and coffee! That's a girl you keep for a while!" Dean winked. Just great. Sam had a crush. Dean didn't want to admit, he did too.

"Dammit! Um, can you two turn you heads? I dropped my shirt on the way to the bathroom."

Their eyes widened and darted towards her bed. There it laid a white shirt. They looked at each other, "a small peek?" They nodded. There is only so much temptation that a man can take...

"Come on out, "Dean called. His voice deep and throaty with want. They turned their back and grinned. The door creaked and footsteps could faintly be heard crossing the room. Both men glanced over their shoulders and where struck with horror at what they saw: scars marred her body like a road map. There were tattoos on her arms, angelic symbols- blessings, protection, and anti-possession. She pulled the long sleeve shirt over her head. It snuggly fit her form and hid the tragedy.

"It's safe. You can look." Her skin was fresh and dewy, almost glowing. Her face was untouched, flawless, like sanctified ground, evil had not touched that beautiful face.

Kay turned to see that the guys were already facing her. Their faces were pale, their eyes full of pity. "You two look like you've seen a ghost." She knew what they had seen: the remnants of her life. The scars she bore like a badge of honor, each one a story of its own. The tattoos were a Gift from her Father. How could she explain the gruesome scene without completely freaking them out?

"I guess you took a peek." Her voice was shaky. Damn, why did she feel so dizzy? She tried to walk towards them. Her knees buckled and stars flew before her eyes.

* * *

Sam and Dean stared in shock as the childlike woman in front of them turned to face them. What had happened to her? Who was she? The tattoos were obvious symbols of protection. But only hunters and those that were hunted knew of such things. Was this fragile flower a hunter? They had never heard her name mentioned from any of their kind. Bobby had been a hunter for ages and knew almost everyone or had some sort of connection with everyone. Why would he not mention such an exquisite beauty to them? He always had a comment about a pretty face.

Dean's blood had turned ice cold. He saw Kay's lips moving but heard nothing. He just wanted to find what had hurt her and make it suffer. He had an instinctive feeling of possession towards her. He had never believed in love at first sight, but if he did, this might be the case. His heart sank as he saw the color drain from her face. She knew they had seen. Was it fear in her eyes? No. No. No. He would not let her be afraid of him. He started to move towards her. He wanted to hold her, to let her know that she had someone to lean on. A gasp escaped his lips as he watched her collapse. He tried to catch her but she hit the floor. Hard. And lay still.

* * *

Sam felt the lump come in his throat. He could feel the burn of tears in his eyes. His heart ached at the sight of such suffering. It took everything he could muster not to cry out: Who did this? I want his head on a platter! As he saw the realization of what the boys had seen cross her face, he felt instant guilt and remorse. It was apparent that Kay was insecure about her scars. How could he be so disrespectful to look when she had asked them not too? He stepped towards her to apologize, and watched in agony as she crumbled to the floor.

* * *

Within seconds, the brothers were at her side. Dean cradled her in his arms. "CLEAR OFF THE DAMN BED AND GET SOME WATER!" he barked at same. The hurricane of emotion spewed from his mouth. He carried her to the bed and gently stroked her cheek. "Kay? Kay? Wake up. Open your eyes!" He felt for her pulse. Steady. That's a good sign. The color had not come back to her face. "Where is the damn water, SAM!"

"Here! I have a wet towel. Wipe her face. Maybe that will wake her up." Sam's hands shook as he passed the glass of water. He had no reason to care so much, but the longer her eyes were closed, the more his heart screamed in pain.

The icy towel sent a shock through her body. "What the F?" She jerked awake. What had happened? Why was Dean holding her so tight? And why was Sam holding her hand? "Okay…what are you two doing? And why am I in bed?"

"You passed out. How are you feeling?" Sam's gentle voice was calm. His hazel eyes full of concern.

"I'm fine. You can let me go now, Dean." The look in his eyes told her he didn't want to let go. He wanted to make sure she was safe. And for the first time in a very long time, she did. In his arms with Sam holding her hand, she felt like she had finally come home.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think with a review. I listen and take suggestions, so if you think it could be better with something added, let me know. Smooches.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean stared down at the woman in his arms. He didn't want to let go. "When was the last time you ate?"

"It's been a while." Kay was never hungry anymore. It was easy for her to forget to eat. Things would be normal for a period of time, and then an uncontrollable need to go somewhere would overtake her. It was as if she was a puppet and someone else was taking control. Usually, it meant someone was in trouble. That is why she had been walking alone on a highway in the middle of the night. She never knew where she would end up. When she was at the right place, the puppeteer would always let her know.

"How's a bacon cheeseburger sound?" he asked, still holding her with a familiarity only lovers have.

"Sounds like Heaven to me!" Did he read her mind? Sam stared at them. His eyes full of questions. His face drawn in what his brother called the "bitch face". Answers were needed, not burgers. But he could see that there was no way to get them until Dean got what he wanted.

"Why don't you go get food while I make sure Kay doesn't have a concussion?" Sam interjected. Hesitantly, they broke their gaze and unwrapped from each other's arms.

"I'll be back in a few. "

As the door closed, Kay looked at Sam. "I can see the questions in your eyes. Just ask. I have nothing to hide."

Her abruptness took him off guard. "I…umm…"

"Do you want to know how I got the scars or how I got the tattoos?"

"Which came first?"

"The scars."

"Then, start there."

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Dean felt awesome. For the first time since…well ever…he actually felt that there was something to look forward to. Yes, he wanted Kay. He thought she was smoking hot, but that wasn't all he wanted. There was something about her that he couldn't put his finger on. She made him **feel**. Just being in her presence made him happy. He would wait for anything physical. He wanted to really KNOW her before that. A voice beside him tore him from his daydream.

"Holy Shit, Cas! You have got to start making more noise or something! I could have wrecked my car!"

"I will try to make more noise in the future. Dean, we need to talk," the Angel's monotone voice brought Dean back to reality. The Apocalypse was upon the world. There was no future if he and Sam couldn't stop it. He pulled over, parking on the shoulder. He turned to face the entity that had pulled him from the pits of Hell.

"What is this about now? What demon do I have to hunt now? What fallen angel do I have to protect? Why can't I get a day off?!"

"It is not you that will be doing the protecting, Dean. You have a woman with you."

"Yeah, so?"

"Do not underestimate her form. Though she may look fragile, she is more powerful than you can ever imagine. Revelation has told of her. She does not know the power of the Blood that runs through her veins. The Lamb that is in your room is a Gift. Cherish her, comfort her. When the path is revealed to her, it will be more than she can bear without support."

Dean closed his eyes. What was he talking about? "I don't understand your cryptic messages. Can't you just say it in plain English?" No answer. Castiel was gone.

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"I'll tell you on one condition…don't call me a freak when I'm done." Worry was written on her face. If those words came out of Sam's mouth, it would crush her. This gentle giant of a man made her feel compassion again. For the first time in 8 years, the heart which had turned to ice was beginning to thaw. She didn't want to become numb again.

"I would be the last person to call you a freak." The soulful look in his eyes told the story of a young man who had loved and lost deeply. The story of a broken heart that might never heal. She sat up, edging close to him.

"Then let me show you how I got the scars." She cupped his face in her hands. He tried to turn away, afraid that she would see the tears he fought. Talking to her, being around her reminded him of Jess. It reminded him of what life could have been before revenge took control of his life. He didn't want her to see the broken man before her. How could he compete with Dean? Dean was a charismatic hero. Sam was only a shadow.

With a gentle hand, she turned him face to face. "Look into my eyes, Sam. Don't turn away from me. If you want to know what happened, look at me." He obeyed. Without breaking eye contact, Kay took his hands in hers. Pins and needles ran through Sam's fingers and up his arms. Like holding on to a live wire, his body coursed with energy. He stared deeply into those crystalline green eyes and images began to flood his brain. His breath quickened. His heart raced. She let him behind the walls. She showed him the deepest recesses of her heart. There was no turning back now. The dam had broken.

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Pitch black. It was so loud! What is that noise? Sam looked all around. Oh my God. He was in the helicopter, with her, but not with her. He watched as she tried to revive a wounded soldier. His body was mangled. She had already dressed the open abdominal wound. He was missing an arm and still hemorrhaging. She yelled orders to the pilot, but the words were lost in the cacophony of the blades. A flash of light blinded everyone. Then they were falling. Again, all was black.

"Somehow she is taking me through her memories." Debris littered the ground. Kay crawled out of the wreckage. The fire from the crash had burned her arms and hands, yet she was looking for survivors. Dragging men twice her size from the mass of twisted metal, she would not stop. "Leave no one behind," was her mantra. The skin on her arms began to slough off. Tears streaked down her dirty face, but she could not stop. She knew these guys, their wives, their children. No one would be left behind.

She woke in a hospital. Bandages covered her arms and hands. She was back in the States. Her mom and dad were at her bedside. They were all dead. Her comrades of the Shock and Trauma Platoon were gone. She was the sole survivor. Miracle is what they called it. A nightmare, a living Hell is what she called it. An Honorable Discharge and a Silver Star for Valor was her reward. A lifetime of suffering, of feeling numb from the inside out, was her penance.

Flash forward. She is walking home from some pub. Adjusting to civilian life had been hard. She tried to bury her pain in alcohol and prescriptions. She lived with her parents, couldn't hold down a job, quit going to Church. She heard the footsteps before she saw the man. He was on her quicker than she could react. He put a rag over her face and she didn't remember anything until waking up in an abandoned warehouse.

Sam watched in horror as the man yanked her out of the chair and tied her hands to a hook on the wall. She could barely touch the floor. She tried to plead with the man, but he slapped her with every word she spoke and finally tied a gag around her mouth. There was a table set up on the side. Rusty blades of all shapes and sizes were displayed. A fire was burning in a coffee can next to the table. He picked up the blade closest him and walked towards her. Ashy grayness took over her face. She began to hyperventilate. The more she struggled the tighter her bonds became. He cut off her shirt to expose bare flesh. The first cut was on the right collar bone. The knife was dull and her assailant had to press down hard in order to make the cut. The agony in her eyes made Sam weep. The second cut was a matching cut on the opposite side. "At least he is in to symmetry," Kay's memory sang. 'Even in the midst of being tortured, she is still a smart ass. I understand what she sees in Dean now,' Sam thought.

Twenty to thirty cuts later, the man turned back to the table. She was bleeding too much. His fun would be over to soon if he let her bleed out. He took a long metal rod and stuck it in the fire. "This will keep you from bleeding so much." That voice was familiar to Sam. When the man turned around and placed the red hot metal to her open wounds, she shrieked. As he began to laugh, Sam noticed his eyes. They were solid black.

Kay withdrew her hands from Sam's. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. She ran her fingers through his hair and he started, the connection broken.

"Now you know where some of my scars came from. The more relevant ones. Are you ready to see where the tattoos came from?"

"I have to see. I don't know if I will ever be ready, but I have to see." His voice was shaky, barely audible. He put out his trembling hands. Kay focused on his eyes and took his hands again.

A blinding, white light. Screeching. She was being lifted off of the hook by gentle hands. She hurt. She just wanted to be released from the pain. Warmth radiated over her body. The Light began to speak.

"My child, I am here. I have not forsaken thee. Your physical wounds are healed. But I do not want you to forget. Your scars will remain as a reminder. You are My daughter. Your blood is My Blood. Listen to My Will and you will receive Revelation. I have a Gift for you and it will be revealed in due time."

When she came too, she was laying on the front steps of her parents' home. Her clothing had been restored and the blood had disappeared. She went upstairs to her room. Stripped to take a shower and gasp at the horror she saw. Scars marred her once perfect body. Crazy tattoos adorned her skin where the "Light" had touched her. She lay on the floor and curled into the fetal position. She sobbed until she had nothing left and passed out with sheer exhaustion.

Sam stared at the woman on the floor. In awe of what he had seen. It made complete sense and yet it didn't. What was meant by "your blood is My Blood" or "you are My daughter"?

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Dean raced down the highway. He had been gone for too long. "Cas always pulls this crap. Never comes out and says what he means. Always gives me so puzzle to figure out which sends me on a wild goose chase. For an Angel, YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" Dean shouted. Though he was alone in the car, it helped to talk aloud. Sometimes it was the only way he could work out a problem. He would talk to Sam later to see what he thought. Right now, he just wanted to get back to Kay. Sam wasn't as much of a talker like Dean, but those damn dimples had some serious mojo. Dean didn't want him to have any more alone time with the woman he was falling for.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Kay felt Dean's presence before he ever got to the door. For some unexplainable reason, she was connected to him. "Sam? Sam, snap out of it. Dean is here."

Sam's eyes began to focus. He dried the tears from his eyes and went into the bathroom. His face was pale; his eyes bloodshot from crying. He quickly washed his face. Dean didn't need to see him like that. He wouldn't understand. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he finally admitted to himself that he was capable of love again. Her memories had brought feelings and emotions to the surface and fully exposed them. His heart, torn and shattered, was now laying in Kay's hands.


	3. Chapter 3

As the Impala rumbled into the parking lot, Dean began to smile. Though he had only been gone a few hours, it seemed like forever. He longed to see Kay. He desperately wanted to be alone with her, to uncover who she really was. Regardless of how horrid her past had been, he wanted to show her that it did not matter. He would accept her completely. When he loved, it was absolute and without conditions. He could count the number of people he had ever truly loved on one hand. She was beginning to take another finger. It baffled him. It terrified him. Would she, could she, love him knowing what skeletons that haunted his closets? There was only one way to find out. Dean did not back down from things that scared him. He faced them head on, just as he would face Kay.

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Sam came out of the bathroom. His face was ashen and his eyes watery. "Do you ever have nightmares?"

"Not anymore. At first, I drank myself to sleep so I wouldn't dream. I have not forgotten. I will never forget, but I do not dwell on it. There is nothing that can be changed. I'm not sure I would change it if I could. Yes, my scars are repulsive and hideous. I am so insecure now that I can't talk to men. I will probably be alone for the rest of my life because of that. However, I have helped people, good people, too. So, if I have to sacrifice my wants for others, it is a small price to pay." For a brief second, her eyes misted. She blinked and then smiled at Sam. "Free will is a Gift. Destiny is not written in stone, it is defined by the choices we make. **You** of all people should understand that. I know your struggle. I know the guilt that you carry is crushing you. You have to let it go, it clouds your judgment. Yes, you have made poor choices, everyone has. But today you can decide to quit being Fate's bitch. Today, you can take your life into your own hands and make it your own. A life full of regret isn't life, Sam. It's just wasting space. No one and nothing can control you unless you let it. Not the Angels, not the demon blood, not even Lucifer."

"What? How did you…"

"When I allow someone to connect with me, the information goes both ways. You saw my memories and I saw yours. I know what is in your heart. You are a good man. But you need to stop beating yourself up, put on your big boy pants, and deal. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for."

Sam didn't have time to respond. A knock at the door ended the conversation. Kay opened the door to find Dean smiling at her. Her heart skipped a beat and her skin started tingling. He was beyond handsome. He was beautiful. From his disheveled hair to his grimy boots, there wasn't an inch of him that she didn't crave. Sam had a heart of gold and was cute in a boyish way. But Dean…he was a MAN. He was upfront. He told people the truth whether the words stung or not. He was a man of action and had no time for words. Yet, he knew how to be comforting and charming when necessary. He was resourceful and thought well on his feet. He was set in his ways but could be spontaneous at the same time. Where Sam's idea of romance was bring flowers and going to a fancy dinner, Dean's was bringing a protection amulet and taking you to the shooting range for practice. Flowers die and the memories of a quiet dinner fade. Loving and trusting someone enough to give them a loaded gun... that's forever.

"Let me help you," Kay said. Somewhere in the transfer of burger bags and sodas, their fingers grazed each other. In that instant, images flooded Kay's mind. These were not memories as she usually saw. This was a premonition and it would be happening soon. Frightened, she almost dropped the food.

"You okay?" he mumbled, worry creasing his forehead. What had just happened? When she had touched him, electricity had coursed through his body. For him it was a pleasurable sensation and his body came alive. Had it been the same on her side, or was there something wrong? Would she pass out again? "You need to sit down and eat. We can't have you fainting again, can we Sammy?" His brother looked up from the bed where he had been sitting. His eyes were tired and worn. But there was something different in them as well. He had seen it another time, but could not place it. Oh well, he'll want a chick flick moment later.

"Let's eat." The next few hours were spent with them all sitting at the table enjoying the food and the company. They laughed and joked. Smiled and flirted. It was fun. And they were all happy.

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A cell phone rang in the darkness. Something broke and Dean cursed under his breath. This had better be something freaking good.

"Yeah?!" It was Bobby. He had a lead. There were black dog sightings in a town 45 minutes away. Three people had already been mauled. "Shit. You know how I hate those damn things...Yeah, sure. You owe me a drink after this one. Can you do me a favor?...I want you to run a name for me: Katherine Sebastina Cristos...I'll fill you in later, just run it. Call me when you get anything...Thanks." Black dogs sucked. Hellhounds frightened Dean to the core. He remembered what it felt like to be torn to ribbons, his soul dragged to hell by those ugly bastards with daggers called teeth. He suppressed a shudder. He turned on the lamp, kicked Sam's bed and told him to wake up. Shower, breakfast, then head out. They had a job to do. Then he noticed the empty bed. Kay was gone.

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The Cathedral was quiet. She had come to ask for something. Never had she questioned His Will. Never had she disobeyed. But she could not let this vision come true. It was too much to ask her to sacrifice.

"Father, I pray that you hear me." She knelt before the cross. "I cannot stand by and let this happen. They are both good men. They have done everything that has ever been asked of them. I will not just stand by. I beg for your mercy... If you take one brother, it will kill the other too... Yes, I understand that he is weary. He is full of doubt and the reason for that is obvious. Allow me to remove the root of the doubt. Let me take it into myself...Yes, Father...I am asking for You to give me permission to save them both."

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	4. Chapter 4

"Father, please! You gave humans free will. You gave us the opportunity to choose our own paths. At any moment, You could intercede but You want us to ask for Your help before stepping in... Here I am, asking, pleading with You….Yes, Father. I understand." Sobs racked Kay's body. Her head bowed in submission and humility.

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"Where would she go? Was she taken? No...No...I would have woken up." Dean paced like a leopard in a cage. He needed to search for her. There were Hellhounds close and she was alone! If anything happened to her…"Don't look at me like that, Sam. I don't know how you can sit there and act so friggin calm. She could be getting mauled by some rabid pit bull from Hell and you just sit there with your hands on your temples!"

"Will you please shut the fuck up?! I am trying to concentrate, you jackass. Give me 5 minutes of quiet and we will find her." The rage shot like arrows from his hazel eyes. How dare that cocky sonofabitch imply that he didn't care! If he didn't care, would he chance using his psychic abilities? If he didn't care, would he chance Lucifer finding him? The problem wasn't that he didn't care; it was that he cared too much. He would face the consequences of his actions later. It didn't matter. All he wanted was to find Kay and let her know he had made his choice: he wasn't going to be anyone's bitch anymore. He was going to do whatever it took to stop the Apocolypse...He closed his eyes and began to concentrate. Dean watched his brother's hands begin to tremble. Sam grimaced, his face contorting in agony. Blood began to trickle from his nostrils. "The Cathedral...She's at the Cathedral." Barely conscious and glassy eyed from the migraine, Sam allowed Dean to lead him to the Impala.

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Time seemed to stand still for Dean. It was only one mile to the St. Christopher's, but it might as well have been 100. There were no lights, no signs that anyone had been there for years. He had barely put the car in park when Sam opened the door and stumbled towards the church. Dean ran to catch up. He needed to be close to his little brother in case the migraine got the better of him. He needed to be close to his Sammy, in case…he didn't want to think about it. A chill ran up his spine as he looked at the stained glass. The last time he was in a Cathedral, all Hell had broken loose, literally.

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Sam knew that Kay was physically unharmed. The mind link they had shared left a small piece of her with him. Her emotions were almost tangible to him. He would know if she were in physical pain. The only thing he could feel from her was deep sorrow. It was as if a black hole had opened up and sucked all joy from her. He struggled to get the heavy oak doors open. He found his way through the darkness. Navigated by her anguish, he found her lying before the cross.

"Kay? It's Sam." Kneeling beside her, he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "I'm here." She looked up, her once vibrant eyes, dull, despondent, lost. She raised her hands like a drowsy child ready for bed. Sam picked her up in his arms and turned to go back to the car. Seemingly invisible, Dean watched, a dull pain growing in his chest. He fought the urge to wrest her from his brother. Now was not the time for sibling rivalry. Castiel's words thundered in his ears, "When the path is revealed to her, it will be more than she can bear without support."

The ride back to the motel was silent. Sam sat in the back with Kay still curled against his chest. The sobbing had subsided into shallow, even breathing. He knew that sleep was her only escape from the melancholy that had taken over. What happened at St. Christopher's? He wanted nothing more than to shoulder the burden for her. He would gladly carry the weight if she would wake up with a smile, with the light back in her eyes.

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Sam softly placed her on the bed. Dean glared at him from the door. Jealousy burned in his green eyes. He shouldn't be upset...There was no reason...Sam was being Sam. He was the _sensitive_brother, every girl's best friend. Dean wasn't the touchy feely type of guy and he knew it. Sam was mothering. Dean would rather rub dirt on it and move on. 'No wonder they have a connection. They are both compassionate and kind. I'm nothing like that. I can never say the right things at the right time. How can I comfort anyone? How can I compete with Sam?" Dean reflected. He wasn't good enough for Kay. He **was** the piss poor excuse of a man that started the Apocalypse after all.

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"Bobby? It's Dean...I know, I know, the dogs. I'll get to them. Just…give me a little time…wait! Have you found anything?...Ok...Uh huh…You have to be kidding me…Did anyone track it down?...Is she a hunter? Is that why all of this is happening to her?... No? So what is going on?!...How long after she shows up that it all goes down?...If what you are saying is true…if I don't call you in 48 hours, you know what happened. Thanks, Bobby. For everything." Nausea hit him like a tsunami. The bile rose in his throat so quickly he could barely make it to the bathroom. Sam had fallen asleep in a chair beside Kay's bed. The sleeping giant stirred. He blinked to clear the sleep from his eyes. He heard before he saw. Dean was in the bathroom, praying to the porcelain god.

"You drunk?" he quipped. Dean had taken off in a whirl of tire smoke. The wheels squealing as he tore out of the parking lot. Sam had assumed that he went to a bar. That's what he usually did when he was upset. He had every right to be upset. Sam knew how deep his own feeling ran for Kay. Dean didn't fall for anyone. He wouldn't let himself be so vulnerable. But little brother had noticed the change. His face lit up when she looked at him. If they touched, Dean actually blushed. His eyes always seemed focused on something faraway, like he was watching something beautiful from a distance. Sam knew his brother; he had looked up to him his entire life. He also knew that he had never seen Dean so torn up over anyone.

"Screw you, Sammy!"

"Are you okay? " Sam poked his head in the door. Dean flushed the toilet and washed his hands and face at the sink. He grabbed the mouthwash, gargled, and spat. "I talked to Bobby. I had him run a trace on her."

"So you know that a demon caused those scars. You know how she got the tats."

"How did you? What the hell else are you holding back from me? Damn it, Sam! I thought we had agreed to no more secrets!"

"It wasn't my secret to tell, Dean. She trusted me enough to tell me and I will not abuse that honor. **You** **know** what it is like not to be able to confide in anyone. **You know** how it eats away at you from the inside, or did you forget what it was like before you finally told me about your nightmares? She, _like you_, feels that everyone is going to turn their backs on her. She,_ like you_, expects people to condemn her for things she had no control over. You two are so damn much alike it is SCARY! You guys were cut from the same cloth. It is so frustrating to know that you two understand each other better than I will ever understand either of you! You are my brother, Dean, and I don't know you half as well as she does. I will never have the connection with her that you do, and it **hurts**! For the first time since Jess died, I can actually **feel something other than anger. ** But there is nothing I can do about it. She doesn't love me, not the way she loves you."

Dean was speechless. Words tried to form but dissolved on his tongue. He glanced from his brother's tormented face, to the sleeping beauty on the bed. Could it be true? Did she really feel the same about him? "Sam…I didn't know. I see the way you two look at one another. You say she and I have a connection? Sammy, when you look into her eyes, it's like you are getting lost in them. She looks at you as if she has seen into your heart. She accepts _you_ for who _you_ are and doesn't look down on you for your past. She sees the man you can be. You can say that you have been loved unconditionally by two amazing women. Do you know what I would give for just one? Do you know what it would mean to me to finally have someone, other than my brother, who loved **me** for **me** regardless of my flaws or the transgressions of my past?!" Saved by the cell. Dean looks at the number. "It's Bobby…yeah…okay. We are on our way." Dean turned to face his brother again. "The hounds killed two more. We have to get going. It's 45 minutes north. Should we leave her here to rest?"

"You aren't leaving me anywhere, Dean Winchester." Kay was standing at the foot of the bed. How long had she been there? From the inferno blazing in her eyes, long enough to hear their conversation. "Both of you come out of the bathroom, now." Her tone was fierce. She was angry, shaking like a leaf.

"How dare you two! You are BROTHERS! I will not be the cause of any conflict between you two. You are both right and you are both wrong. I do love you, Sam. You are kindhearted, considerate, gentle, and caring. You empathize with people and truly want to do the right things while sparing someone's feelings. You would rather shoulder their pain and guilt on your own than let anyone suffer. Those are admirable traits that would make any woman fall for you. You made me care again. You helped me turn away from the numb existence that I called life." Sam blushed. He wanted to pick her up and swing her in his arms. Then lay her on the bed and take his time making love to her. Before he could speak, she turned to face his older brother. Rejected, Dean had slid down the wall. He sat with his knees to his chest and head in his hands. It looked as if he were trying to pull the pieces of his shattered heart back together. She knelt down, her face inches away from his. She grabbed his hands in her own. "Dean, look at me. I need you to look at me." He lifted his head, tears cascading down his face. "Look into my eyes, and do not look away. You want unconditional love. So do I. You know what caused my scars. I know what Bobby told you. I want you to see for yourself. Then you tell me if you can look past **my** flaws and **my** transgressions. Then you tell me if you accept me for me."


	5. Chapter 5

A white light blinded Dean. Fireworks flashed before his eyes as he tightly squeezed them. When they opened a few moments later, he was somewhere else. The dingy motel room had disappeared, replace by the nicest digs he had ever seen. Everything was white or silver. It was pristine, completely and utterly untouched by human hands. He surveyed his surroundings, taking in all exits and items that could possibly be used as weapons. The furnishings were opulent, regal, the finest of the fine. This wasn't his kind of joint. This place was fit for a king, or a god.

Kay was sitting in a high backed chair, the kind that ladies of the court would sit in during the Victorian times. She wore a white silk kimono, plain against the splendor of her surroundings. To her left was a wall filled with monitors, each showing a different scene. Dean began to walk towards her. His eyes flitting nervously back and forth. "Please, have a seat. There is nothing to be afraid of here. Your body is still in the motel with Sam. I brought you here, in my mind, so that you can see for yourself. Bobby told you some things about me. Some were correct, others were not. I want you to know the truth." She beckoned to the monitors. "Each of these screens displays my memories. Each of these shows an event in my life. The remote is yours. View what you want, I have nothing to hide."

Dean gingerly sat down in an overstuffed recliner, to his right a table with a beer and a remote. He chuckled and pointed to the beer.

"I thought you might like it. I want you to feel comfortable. The things you see may be disturbing," Kay said quietly, her head lowered. Her shoulders were slumped, like she had been beaten down. "To search for what you want, type in the question. The remote isn't the usual kind."

Dean steeled himself as he picked the contraption up. It was similar in shape and size to a normal remote, but instead of numbers each button was a letter. He took a long pull from the beer. Bobby had said that everywhere Kay showed up, trouble followed. Trouble meaning hunters almost getting killed. Dean typed one word: Hunters.

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The screens became one. It was dark. John Winchester was running through the woods. His face was bloody, hair matted. His clothing was covered in mud and gore. A loud roar came from overhead. He looked up, his eyes full of terror. The Wendigo was perched on the limb directly above him. Its clawed hands grabbed the man, tearing into the flesh of his shoulders. Leaping from the tree, it crashed down on top of him. The tendons in his shoulders were severed. He had no use of his arms. The putrid breath of the beast made his nose flare. It was inches away from his face. It ran is hot, festering tongue over the wounds. It slashed the man's chest, taking a chunk of skin with it. Raising it to its mouth, it devoured the soft tissue as John watched helplessly. Again, it slashed and again, it took flesh. Blood soaked the forest floor. John's eyes began to glaze over and roll in his head.

From nowhere, a shimmering light appeared. It dissipated, leaving Kay in its place. She stepped forward, unafraid. "Get off of him, NOW!" she ordered. The beast cowered. She continued moving towards it. When she was within reach, she touched the thing on its shoulder. Its knees buckled and it knelt before her. "In Christ's name, I command you back from whence you came!" her voice ringing loud in the silence of the woods. The beast shuddered. It began to glow. A radiant, incandescent light came from within. It enveloped the creature and it vanished.

She turned to the mortally wounded man. With a deep, calming breath, she approached. His breath was labored. The Wendigo had flayed his chest open. Bone could faintly be seen beneath the shredded muscle. His eyes pleaded with her to stop the pain. He tried to speak, "My boys…" was all he could manage to get out. His lips were turning a bluish-grey color. She leaned toward him, positioning her face intimately close to his.

"John Winchester, I can end the pain and make you whole again. I know you are weary of your life as a hunter. I know you want to see Mary again, but your job is not done. Father has a mission for you. If you accept, you will be healed and you will continue being a hunter. If you do not, you will be released from the pain and allowed to go peacefully to meet Mary. It is your choice, do you accept?" Her emerald eyes were sincere, honest, and full of compassion. She waited for his answer.

The anguish in his face was clear. The torment in his mind evident. Then a peacefully resigned look replaced it. He nodded yes. "His Will be done," she said as she leaned forward to kiss his bloody forehead. When her velvet lips touched John's clammy skin, they both began to glow. The rips and tears in his body began to mend, the mangled tissue becoming intact. Within minutes, all evidence of the Wendigo attack disappeared. Dean watched in awe as he saw his father's body repair and Kay's become slashed to ribbons. Each cut that had been inflicted upon John had opened up on her.

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The screen before Dean dissolved into individual images. The mosaic before him showed pictures of hunters, some he knew and some he didn't. Bobby, Rufus, Caleb, his father…So many lives had been touched at one point or another. Yet now…many of those same faces were dead, gone forever.

"I don't understand. If you healed them before, why did you let them die now? Why did Pastor Jim get his throat slit by Meg? Why is Bobby stuck in a wheelchair? Why did Sam have to die? Why did I have to go to **Hell **in order to bring him back?!" Confusion, hurt, and anger strained Dean's voice. It _**didn't**_ have to be this way. The Apocalypse _**didn't have to come! **_All of the pain and suffering of the past months could have been prevented…

"I can only do what He allows." She had known he would not understand. It wasn't up to her to decide when and where... She could not look at him; guilt crushed her under its awesome weight.

"Why are you here? Why are you with me and Sam now? After everything that has been _'allowed'_ to happen, why now?"

"I was sent to save you…" She looked up. For the first time since the Light had touched her, she wept. "Lucifer is here. The dogs were not summoned as enforcers. They are guarding his current vessel. The man he possesses is growing weaker by the hour. He is gathering his minions in order to take you…and force Sam into submission."

Dean felt as if he had been shot in the stomach. Sammy…"He would never say yes."

"Sam is tired. He has grown weary and his resolve is waning. I know this because I felt it…Our minds were linked before I went to the St. Christopher's. He can't read my thoughts anymore nor can I read his, but we still can feel each other. I am glad he cannot read my mind…some burdens are too much to bear…"

"He doesn't know what is happening? He doesn't know what we are going to walk into?"

"No…he doesn't. It would alter his judgement. You see...Sam has a choice to make and his decision will define the outcome of this war."

"What do you mean?"

"It is going to end tonight, Dean. One way or another, tonight's battle will either end the Apocalypse, or condemn the world to eternal damnation."

Dean paced. So many thoughts were running through his head. "Why did you show me all of this? Why me and not Sam?"

"Love comes in many forms. Yes, I love Sam. I would do whatever it takes to protect him and to make sure that he is happy. But I **_love_** you, Dean. More than you can possibly imagine. Loving someone the way I love you, means having the courage to be courage completely honest. I brought you here because I would rather risk losing you, than lie to you. It's the truth and you deserve that." She walked over to him. She stopped, close enough that he could feel the softness of the silk she wore. She looked up as she raised her hand to caress his face. "You deserve so much more."

He could feel the love radiating from her like the warmth of a fire. He could smell her scent: jasmine and spice. His chest tightened. His heart overflowed with emotion. He lost himself in her eyes. He gave in. He couldn't keep up the charade. Every protective wall he had ever built crumbled. He gently cupped her face in his hands and kissed her rosebud lips.

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It was the type of kiss only seen in movies. The type of kiss women have fantasized about since the beginning of time. His lips were soft and sweet against Kay's. They communicated every emotion, every feeling, every desire, and every need without saying a single word. She wrapped her arms around his neck, terrified he would change his mind, frightened he would turn away. Her body tingled and came alive as his fingers ran down her back. He untied the kimono…and she froze.

"Are you okay?" concern heavy in his voice.

"I…it's…no one has seen me since the warehouse…" her voice trembled. Her gaze was transfixed on the floor. He would take one look at her grotesque, scar laden body, and walk away…

Dean gently pulled her chin up and stared into her eyes. "Do you take me for me? You know what I did when I was in Hell. You know every crazy, distorted thought I have in my brain. Do you accept me in spite of who I am?"

She smiled, tears in her eyes. "No…I love you and accept you _**because **_of who you are."

A single tear of joy ran down his cheek. "It goes both ways."

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Sam silently watched his brother and Kay. He saw Dean's expression change from horror, to rage, and now…he looked completely at peace. The tears that had streaked Kay's face had stopped, her face now mimicking his older brother's.

When they had "connected", the link between Sam's mind and her mind had stopped. He could no longer feel her sentiments. All he could do was watch and wonder.

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Dean slid the kimono off her shoulders and it fell to the ground. He tenderly touched her bare skin, lovingly tracing her scars. He pulled her body close, his lips leaving trails of fire as he kissed her neck.

He pulled back just long enough to disrobe, the brief moment apart, more than he could endure. Again, he pulled her close. Their arms wrapped around each other as if they were drowning swimmers desperately clinging to life preservers. They made their way to the floor, its Persian carpeting like velvet against their nakedness. Like a blind man, Dean explored her body, memorizing every curve, kissing each scar as if to make it go away. His tongue tasted her, sending waves of pleasure throughout her body. She wantonly grabbed his hair and pulled him closer. Her skin flushed with excitement, her breath coming in gasps. His tongue trailed up her body and found a home in her mouth. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, squeezing him closer. Dean moaned as he entered her. Their bodies moved as one…undulating, writhing in bliss. They rode their ecstasy to crescendo and over the peak…At that moment, they became one. Their bodies, minds, and souls, melded together, never again to be parted.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam felt like a voyeur. He silently gawked at Dean and Kay. His eyes were transfixed on their expressions. He desperately wanted to turn away, but couldn't. He was a moth drawn to a flame, watching them was slowly killing him, but there was no way to stop.

The peaceful look that had been on their faces had transformed into something else, something carnal. Their hands had shifted. No longer were they merely holding hands: their palms were now pressed firmly against one another, their fingers entwined. It reminded him of the way lovers' bodies weave around each other…Their breathing had become panting. Their faces flushed pink with…desire? When their eyes glossed over, there was no longer a doubt in his mind what was happening. He sighed, dejected and morose. He had come to a fork in the road and it was time to finalize his decisions.

He stood, grabbed his meager belongings, and made his way to the door. He glanced back at the two. His older brother, his hero, had done so much for him. Dean had protected Sam from the day he was born…Kay had taught him how to feel again. Her compassionate, albeit blunt, ways had reconnected Sam to a part of himself that he thought was buried with Jess. He would be eternally grateful to both of them, forever indebted.

Never had Sam seen his sibling appear so content. He resolved not let his jealousy take that away. After everything Dean had given up for him, it was his turn now. As the door quietly closed behind him, Sam sacrificed what was left of his heart.

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Kay broke the bond first. She could sense something was wrong. Her eyes searched the room…"Oh, Shit!" She shook Dean, "Focus! Hey! Sam's gone!!" Her tone was frantic.

"Huh?" the man wasn't completely centered in reality yet. The look on her face told him that something was seriously jacked up. He glanced around the room. Uneasiness crept upon him, crawling up his spine until he started to shiver. Then he understood. "Sam was watching…He must have…Are you sure he couldn't still read your mind?"

"Positive. But I'm sure our faces gave us away…We have to find him before they do. If anything happens to him…This is all my fault! Damn, stupid human!" Kay was furious at herself for allowing her emotions to royally screw everything up. This was her punishment. She had questioned His Will. She had been selfish and now she would atone for it. She strapped her pistol to her thigh, a dagger on each wrist, and slid one in her boot. She checked the silver heels on her boots, the edges were still sharp. She pulled on her leather jacket. The lining had multiple pockets; each one filled with holy water, salt, extra bullets made of silver, wrought iron, or some other sacred item. She looked up at Dean who was also preparing for the worst. She moved closer to him, grasping his hands and pulling them to her heart.

"I have something I want you to have. Keep in near you at all times." She took off her necklace. The pendant was a small silver box with a latched lid. "Do not open it unless it is an absolute emergency." An unnatural calmness had come over her face. There was something alarming in her tone.

"What do you consider an 'absolute emergency'?" Dean didn't like strange way she looked at him. It was as if she were saying goodbye.

"The only time you should ever open that, is if I am dead."

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Sam had been walking north for about an hour when he heard something behind him. When he turned to inspect the surroundings, there was nothing there. The sun was fading behind the mountains, darkness would settle in soon. While he hated walking alone at night, it was better than the alternative. Had he been there when they broke the connection…he wasn't sure he wouldn't have decked his brother. Kay didn't want to be the cause of them fighting. Sam would respect that. The only way to keep that from happening was for him to leave, to vanish forever.

Like she had said, we are defined by the choices we make. Destiny isn't set in stone; Fate is a four letter word created to take away the free will God gave humans. Sam had decided that he would no longer let negative feelings like guilt, jealousy, anger, and the need for revenge, control his life. He was finished with being manipulated. The years that he spent allowing those emotions to manhandle him had left him weary. Fed-up, he would no longer be a puppet to the demon blood that leached through his veins.

While watching Dean and Kay, he had thought it through. He knew Lucifer would be able to repair any fatal injuries he inflicted upon himself. A gunshot to the head wouldn't be enough. So he had filled his water bottle with salted Holy water and began to drink it as he walked. His veins stung as it crept through his system, attacking the demon blood. When he found the right place, he would draw the Seal of Solomon and stand in the middle. Any evil creature that tried to enter to retrieve what would be left of his body would be trapped. Once in the center, he would light a fire and burn. He did not relish the idea of death by fire, but it would be the only way to make sure his body could not be used for evil. "Destiny my ass. I am no one's bitch," he chuckled to himself.

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Dean tried to focus as they loaded the Impala, but his mind was filled with trepidation. He glanced at Kay, hoping for some sign of reassurance…Her face was a mask, void of all emotion. Her eyes were the only thing that gave away the turbulent emotions brewing inside. He inhaled deeply trying to settle the anxiety boiling in his stomach. "Damn it Sammy…" he muttered to himself as he shut the trunk. When he looked up, Castiel stood by his side.

"Dean, your brother…"

"I know. Sam took off. I'm pretty sure he's heading north." Dean motioned for Kay. She advanced to his side, slipping her hand in his. Castiel's eyes grew wide with reverence. He prostrated himself on the ground at her feet.

"You serve my Father, not me. There is no reason for you to kneel before me. I am just a mere human."

"The Lord's blood runs through your veins. You are the last human descendent, and you are to be honored." The Angel stood. His eyes drifted to their clasped hands. "Blasphemy! Dean, you have no right to touch…" he did not get to finish.

"Who are you to judge?!" Kay fumed. Her fury erupted, lashing out with a pulse of power that sent him flying through the air as if he had been hit by a bus. "This man has done everything in his power to protect innocents. He deserves respect and you will show it, do I make myself clear?" Her tone was quiet yet utterly terrifying.

"I did not mean to anger you." Cas slowly, painfully got to his feet. He stiffly walked back to where they stood. Kay was still glowering at him. Dean was in complete shock. His face was a mixture of surprise and concern.

"Remind me never to piss you off," he joked. The tension was thick. He finally understood the phrase 'cut the tension with a knife'. "So…how about that game last night?" The Descendent and the Angel stared at him incredulously. When he smirked, Kay broke out in laughter.

"Only you!" she said, her eyes twinkling. She turned to Castiel, "Look, I apologize. You know what is going on…Take us to Sam before it is too late."

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	7. Chapter 7

"My pets, come. I have a task for you. Take this scent and find the man it belongs to. Bring him to me, alive." The fearsome beasts cowered before the frail man. His appearance was not intimidating. He was puny and haggard however, the power that the vessel struggled to contain was overwhelming. The demon dogs knew their master. Whether it was out of loyalty or pure terror that they obeyed, he did not care. As with everything, it was a means to an end. Lucifer wanted to shed this inadequate meat suit and take possession of his true corporal form. The hounds would not fail him; they never did.

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Sam walked in the inky blackness. His flashlight was the only light along the gloomy highway. He searched the shadows, hoping to find some sign of civilization. When driving down the pavement, he had not noticed how desolate the surroundings were. He had to find somewhere to stay for the night. He could search for the appropriate site to finalize his plan better in the daylight.

"Click, click, click, click." He spun around, seeking out the source of the noise. There was nothing there. Primal fear washed over him. He felt like prey…He was being stalked. He began to walk at a faster pace. He scanned his surroundings with the light, hoping to find shelter. "click, click, click, click…" It sounded like claws…"Grrrrrrrr," a low-pitched rumble was coming from behind him.

Sam ran. Faster than he had ever run, but it was not enough. The snarls were getting closer; he could feel the hot breath on his neck. Within seconds, they pounced. White-hot pain exploded in his back as the Hellhounds descended on their target. The creatures yelped as the man's holy water infused blood touched their snapping jaws. The ferocity of the attack increased the more he fought, until finally he lay still. The beasts whimpered as they pulled his mauled body away from the highway.

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Kay fell to her knees. She could not breathe. Her chest felt as if it were about to explode. Hellhounds stalking their victim…the chase…the blood…

"They have him…They have Sam." No one had a chance to speak. She grabbed Dean and Castiel by the shoulders. In a burst of light, they were gone.

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"Pick him up," Lucifer ordered two male demons. "Bring him to me." They obeyed. Smoke rose from their hands as they came in contact with the blood oozing from numerous tears and lacerations that adorned Sam's torso. Ignoring the pain, they hoisted him upright, wrenching his shoulders out of place, as they dragged him to their lord. As they centered him in front of Lucifer, they tangled their hands in his shaggy hair and violently jerked his head back. A moan escaped his crimson stained lips and his eyes fluttered open.

"Oh, Sammy! It is such a pleasure to have you here. Now, I must apologize for the method of invitation, but you really left me know choice," the devil grinned at the injured man.

"Burn in Hell," Sam spat.

"Been there, done that! Here's the thing, Sammy…"

"_**Do. Not. Call. Me. That**_! You are **NOT** my brother!" he growled between clenched teeth. He was trapped. His dislocated shoulders screamed. They would be of no use. His neck was on fire from the angle of hyperextension the demons held him at. He was in a vice grip with no way out.

"You are a smart one, Sam. Drinking Holy water? Bravo…Bravo. Let me guess, you salted it too? " The fallen angel looked into his eyes. From the satisfied look, he knew that was exactly what he had done. "Put him on the hook."

The demons hauled the struggling man towards a far wall. There a rusty hook hung from high above. Images of the warehouse he had seen in Kay's memories, flashed before Sam's eyes. Pictures of the torture she endured overwhelmed him. He fought against them. He fought as they bound his hands together with barbed wire. He fought as they hoisted his dislocated arms above his head, an earsplitting scream spewing from his mouth. They slipped his bound hands over the hook and let him dangle, his rubbery legs barely able to support his weight.

"One thing you didn't think about, dear, dear, Sam. Yes, I am an Angel. Yes, I do have to have your permission to enter the vessel. Yes, because I was expelled from Heaven, Holy water will burn me and I would not be able to possess your body while the Holy water is in your blood. But if the vessel is empty, it is free for anyone…I never said I needed you to be in there with me," he sneered. His face inches from Sam's. Their eyes were locked, each one trying to see who would back down.

"Even if you kill me, the blood will still be full of Holy water; you still won't get my body."

"Who said there would be any blood left in it?" Lucifer smirked. He raised his hand, revealing a black atheme, its edges glinting in the light. Sam didn't have time to scream as he buried in his jugular vein.


	8. Chapter 8

They stood before the old barn. "We find Sam first, and then deal with the rest," Kay's voice was low. She turned to Dean and gently kissed his soft lips. "I know you are scared for him. But you have to have faith. No matter what you see, no matter what happens, don't doubt that both of you are going to be alright. Just believe." They hugged each other tightly and in that moment, for the first time in his life, Dean did believe.

The doors burst open. Castiel came through first, brushing demons aside with a wave of his hand. Dean, his pistol in his right hand and holy water in his left, frantically scanned the surroundings for Sam. He spotted his limp, blood soaked body, hanging against the wall to his left. "SAMMY!!!!" he bellowed. He charged ahead into the wash of demons. Kay flicked her wrists exposing the hidden daggers and followed.

Dean was slashed, clawed, bitten, and beaten. Yet he felt no pain and did not shed a drop of blood. A demon clawed at his handsome face. Nothing happened. Dean bulldozed his way through. Every fiend coming into contact with him disintegrated, as if touched by the Light. Kay's eyes never left him. She was whispering something over and over. Stabbing any demon trying to come behind Dean, she never left him. Castiel dispatched numerous demons back to Hell, touching them with two fingers on their foreheads.

They broke free of the hoard and stepped into Dean's worst nightmare. Sam's blood covered the floor beneath his feet. His brother's body was cold, his lips blue and his eyes like those of a doll: glassy and unresponsive. He reached up and gently detached his baby brother from the hook. He was beginning to stiffen and his arms made a gruesome popping sound as Dean lowered him to the ground. Tears flooded his eyes. "Sammy…wake up…I'm here, buddy. Please…" His voice broke as a sob was wrenched from his throat. His body began to shudder as he pulled his best friend into his lap and cradled him against his chest. Everything else had disappeared to him. At that time, nothing else mattered.

Kay looked back at her lover and felt his pain. As she had protested all along, she saw the truth in what she had said, "if you take one brother, and it will kill the other too". Dean was slowly dying from the inside out. The connect they shared was more than just being brothers. Their souls were conjoined and one could not survive without the other. She turned to Castiel, "Show your true form and get these fuckers out of here." She went to the boys and knelt beside Sam. She cupped Dean's face in her hands and wiped his tears. "I promised you that everything would be alright, didn't I? Just close your eyes; you will know when to open them." As he closed his eyes, she kissed him again, soft and tender. "I love you, now and forever."

The awe-inspiring power of Castiel's angelic form exploded from his vessel. As the dying demons shrieked and howled, Kay leaned forward and kissed Sam's cold, lifeless lips. A warm glow spread from Kay's mouth to Sam's. It slowly enveloped him. His wounds mended from the inside out. The kiss continued as she breathed life back into his lungs. His skin began to warm as his heart quickened. She inhaled, breathing in the demon blood, purifying his body and taking his death unto her.


	9. Chapter 9

With a sigh, Kay laid her head on Sam's chest and closed her eyes. She was so tired, so very, very tired…

***

The light began to fade. The demons were gone, vanquished by the pure white light. Castiel turned to the Winchesters. Placing his hand upon Dean's shoulder, he calmly told him, "Open your eyes."

The weary hunter opened his tearfilled eyes. He looked down at Sam. In his mind's eye, Dean saw himself holding Baby Sammy, protecting him as he had done all those years ago in Lawrence, Kansas. The tears poured from his eyes, down his stained cheeks, and dropped on the still face of his little brother…Sam's eyes opened wide and he gasped for air like a drowning man.

"OH, GOD!! Sammy!"

"Dean? What…How?" The brothers' celebration was short lived. Sam put his hand to Kay's cheek, "Kay? Wake up…" She did not respond.

Dean helped his brother sit as Sam cradled her against his chest. Frantic, Dean tried to find her pulse, to hear her breathe, but it was too late. He pulled his hand back from her neck to find it stained crimson. He grasped Sam and inspected him. His wounds had healed, the only traces were thin pink scars. Dean took off her blood soaked jacket and struggled to breath: their wounds were identical…he flashed back to the image of her healing his father…"Kay…what did you do?" his voice broke. He took her from Sam's arms and pulled her close. Her limp body sagged against him. He buried his head against her shoulder and tried desperately to pull her lifeless arms around his neck…one last embrace, one last moment of connection.

Sam watched helplessly. The desperation in his brother's eyes was heart wrenching. He watched the grief become a chasm and Dean walked right over the edge into the abyss.

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"My, my! Well, that certainly wasn't expected. Dear Sam…It is wonderful to see you awake. Poor Dean doesn't look so good, does he? I've seen that look before, Sammy. He's broken…too much in one night. First he lost his brother, now the only woman he's ever truly loved? Shucks, that's just awful!" Lucifer smirked.

"How are you still here? Castiel vanquished the demons," Sam's spoke, his voice edged with hatred. He looked around for the Angel…he was gone.

"For someone so smart, you sure can be rather stupid. I am **not** a demon, dumbass._ The Original Fallen Angel_, thank you very much. And that poor excuse of a Guardian is nothing compared to me. He wasn't good enough to kiss the ground I walked on, much less be strong enough to stop me! I take what I want when I want it, or haven't you noticed?" He slowly made his way closer to the trio. Dean was catatonic, clutching Kay's body tightly, as if she would float away. Sam held him protectively.

"Dean…Dean, you need to snap out of it. We have a problem…Dean!"

There was something about the desperation in Sam's voice that pulled at him, drawing him back from the numbness. Dean looked around as if he were seeing things for the first time. He looked at his brother, whom he loved more than his own life. He looked down at the woman in his arms…"absolute emergency…if I am dead," Kay's words reverberated through his mind. He glanced at the necklace and took the box between his fingers, unlatching the lid…

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Everything began to shake. The fluttering of thousands of pairs of wings could be heard for miles around. A trumpet blared its war cry. Castiel appeared, wrapped the trio in his arms, and they disappeared.

Within moments, the entire barn was filled with a burning white light as the Hosts of Heaven converged upon Lucifer. Their true forms beyond description, more beautiful than one could possibly image, so magnificent that no mortal could look directly at their visage. The weakened vessel fell to its knees and exploded under the burden. Lucifer paled in comparison to the Seraphim and Cherubim. Two Angels held him tightly, one on each arm. The Archangel Michael stood before him, "Only an Angel can kill an Angel. I should have done this from the very beginning," and with one stroke of his flaming sword, he beheaded the Beast.


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel had brought them back to the motel. Sam glanced around the room, making sure the salt lines were still intact. He looked at his brother and the doll he held…Kay's flaccid, lifeless body arched unnaturally in Dean's arms. There was dried blood covering everything. Dean had tried so desperately to hold on to her that he had smeared Kay's blood on himself, his face, neck, hands…His clothes were stained with both Sam's and Kay's blood.

"Dean…you need to put her down…"

"NO! No, Sammy. She's gonna wake up. I want her to see me when she wakes up…" Dean sobbed as he gently stroked her cheek. The tears that couldn't stop streaking his blood stained face.

Sam looked to the silent Angel for guidance. Castiel's eyes were swimming with unshed tears. Lightning flashed outside and rain came pouring down as if the universe were mourning. When an Angel cries, the world feels his sorrow.

* * *

"My child, why do you weep? Your work is complete and you have come home," the Light's warm voice should have provided comfort to Kay, but it did not.

"Father…I…I know I must seem ungrateful. The fact that You let me come home after I disobeyed you…I know you told me Sam must die…That it was the only way to stop Lucifer, but I couldn't let it happen. You told me to save Dean, to protect him at all costs. If Sam would have died, Dean would have as well. The brothers' bond runs deeper than the family ties. They have to have each other. Sam needs Dean to keep him on the right path, to remind him not to get obsessed with one thing, to look at the big picture. Without Dean, Sam would get lost in his fixations and not realize his full potential…Dean needs Sam to keep him from losing his compassion, to remind him that not everything is black and white, to keep him from becoming cold. Without Sam, Dean would lose his conscience and become everything he has hunted. It would slowly kill him. I couldn't let that happen…"

"Child…You were born human for a reason. I gave humans the gift of free will for a reason. I am not angry with you. Again, I ask, why do you weep?"

"I want them to be happy…for once in their lives, I want them to be at peace and to have the lives they have always wanted. You have asked so much of them…from the moment they came into the world they were on a mission. Isn't it time that they finally caught a break?"

"Ask and ye shall receive…"

* * *

Castiel had convinced Dean to put Kay on the bed. Sam was amazed at how gentle the usually stoic Angel had handled his brother. Dean had quietly gone into the bathroom to wash. It seemed like he was taking forever.

Castiel stood over the body. His hands hovered inches above her. He began to hum and slowly move his hands from head to toe. Within minutes, all traces of the carnage were gone. She was now clean in a pure white dress. Her scars and tattoos were gone. All signs of her hard life had disappeared. She looked at peace and she was breathtakingly beautiful. Sam's throat ached with the tears he held back.

Dean came out of the bathroom clothed in his jeans and a blue button up shirt. His chest heaved as he saw her. A sob quietly broke from his lips and the tears threatened to begin again. He went to her right side and put her hand in his. She was so cold. He prayed that a miracle would happen, that she would come back to him. He kissed her delicate hand, laid his cheek on it, and closed his eyes. He wanted to savor the way her skin, though icy, felt against his. He wanted to set every moment they had spent together in his memory. He would need those memories to fall back on the lonely nights ahead.

Sam watched his despondent sibling. Wracking his brain for some way to make it better, he had found none. He went to the bathroom to wash the grim from his weary body. He took of the blood crusted shirt and threw it in the trash…no amount of washing would ever get it truly clean. He did the same with every stitch of clothing he had on. He stood in front of the mirror and analyzed himself. There were thin pink lines covering his body where the demons had bled him. His neck had a faint pink scar the size of a half-dollar piece and shaped like a diamond. He shuddered as he remembered the atheme being buried in his throat. He hadn't been able to breathe as it had severed his trachea. He had drowned as his own blood had filled his lungs. He should be dead. Yet here he stood, a handsome, viral young man. Kay should be alive and consoling his brother…guilt washed over him as he got in the shower. He turned the water as hot as it would go. His skin reddened as he ferociously scrubbed his flesh. The caked blood turned pink, mixing with soap and water as it circled down the drain. Soon the water ran clear, but Sam kept scrubbing. As much as he tried and tried, it wasn't working. He began to wonder if he would ever feel clean again.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

When Sam emerged from the bathroom, the silence was deafening. Dean had finally passed out, still clutching Kay's hand as if his life depended on it. Castiel stood mutely beside his charge. His eyes met Sam's, the repressed emotions churning like a whirlpool in his usually calm eyes. With a quiet sigh, Sam approached Kay's left and took her icy, motionless hand. This isn't what he had wanted. He wanted his brother to be happy for once. He wanted them to live the life Dean had secretly longed for. Sam had seen Dean with the boy, Ben. He knew that having a family of his own was very important to his best friend. He also knew that Dean would never allow himself to leave the hunt or even attempt to have the white picket fence fairytale. Dean would never take that risk, never endanger the people he loved. Yet, here it was. The opportunity that Dean has so desperately wanted was right in front of him. The unconditional love he franticly craved had been given to him…and it had been taken away. Like everything else…

Sam let a single tear slide down his cheek. He was beside himself. Nothing ever happened the way it should. He was the Anti-Midas, there was no gold in his world. Everything he touched turned into a pile of steaming animal dung. Why would Kay sacrifice herself to save him? He was selfish. He would get so engrossed with whatever his current obsession was and block out everything and everyone else. Thinking back to the year before Dean had gone to Hell, he realized that he spent the majority of that time consumed with finding a way to save his brother. He wasted the year with constant research and hunting instead of spending the time with the only person who cared about him. When Dean died, he had fixated on Lilith. He had gone against Dean's express wishes and turned to Ruby…a demon. He had committed the ultimate betrayal and would never forgive himself. He had thought it was all for the greater good. That was how he had rationalized his behavior. He was ultimately helping save the world, right? But the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. The end does not justify the means. When he finally realized that, it was too little too late. Now here he sat, watching his brother's grief eat him alive...Kay should be alive, not Sam. His sins were too great, yet here he was…

* * *

An orb of white-blue light appeared at the foot of the bed. The mask amulet Dean had given Castiel on his search for God, began to glow, red-hot. The Angel gasped and genuflected in the Presence. Dean stirred, eyes blinking against the crusted tears. Both Winchesters gazed at the Light in rapt awe.

"Rise, children. You have served Me well." The voice coming from the Light was soothing. A warmth spread over the brothers like a blanket. "Dean, I feel your suffering. Weep not, My son. Your life of selfless sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. As promised, you will be rewarded…Sam, dear Sam…I feel the guilt and remorse in your heart. Do you not remember the gift I gave to the world? My Son gave His life so that you may live…He took the sins of all men upon Himself so that you would be purified…All you have to do is ask for forgiveness, give your troubles unto Me and all will be forgiven."

Sam's eyes welled with tears. His voice was that of a child as he spoke, "I'm not worthy…"

The Light approached the man whose shoulders slumped in shame. It gently caressed his cheek, leaving Sam feeling content and reassured. "I am the Judge of that and I say you are. Again, I ask you to hand your troubles unto Me. Leave them at My feet and never dwell on them again. Your burdens are My burdens. I have been here with you from the beginning. I have walked by your side, waiting for you to turn to Me. I cannot force you to make this decision. It is yours and yours alone to make, but you have to ask in order to be redeemed."

Sam fell to his knees. His shoulder began to shake as his body was wracked with sobs. "Please, forgive me…"

"I already have…Sam and Dean Winchester, your mission is complete. Go about your lives. Be joyful knowing that I am always with you. In the darkest hours, you will feel My arms around you. Know that at those times, I am carrying you." And the Light moved from the boys to the Angel bowing on the floor.

"Castiel, rise. You have been the model soldier. You listened and never disobeyed. When everything was ready to crumble around you, your Faith did not waiver. A Father could never be more honored. Your dedication has earned a reward…What is it that I may grant you for your devotion?"

The Guardian was in shock. He had never thought of anything that he would want. His entire existence was about serving an unseen Father. Everything had been based on Faith and Faith alone. Now here he stood, in the Almighty Presence and he was being praised?! It all seemed surreal.

"Father, I have dreamt of being in Your presence for millennium. As I stand before You, I am baffled. I have never thought of anything but serving You; I do not know what to ask for."

"I know what you keep hidden. It is buried so deep that you do not even know it is there. Though it pains Me to lose one so devoted, I will grant it. Your place is always saved beside My throne, My son." The Light enveloped the awestruck Angel. His corporal body was lifted in the air. As the Light wrapped around his body, every nick and scrape disappeared. He was born again, perfect and new…completely human.

The Light unraveled from the now human Castiel and moved over the body on the bed. It parted Kay's lips and entered her body. It could be seen flowing through her. Every inch was bathed in the radiance. Once It had made its way through every cell, It exited. Again, It hovered above her. "Live. Breathe. Take care of each other. Love each other and cherish each day that you are with your family." And the Light vanished as quickly as it came, leaving rapture in Its wake.

* * *

Kay's gasp for air brought the trio back to reality. She was breathing! Dean picked her up in his arms and felt the warmth of her flesh. Though she was still unnervingly pale, she had a pulse and she was alive! "Kay, honey, wake up for me…look at me," he pleaded. Her eyes did not open. Her breath was even and her pulse was slow and steady. She was there, but she wasn't. The glow that had brightened his face began to fade. Something wasn't right.

"We must take her to the hospital," it was Cas. Even human, he was a realist. He knew that a body didn't just recover from everything she had been through without some unseen damage. She had endured years of taking in the pain of others. She had been brought back from the darkness of death…physically she may be in perfect health, but the human mind is a fragile thing. Like a glass being filled with water, there is only so much it can hold.

Sam looked at the dark-haired man and when their eyes locked, he understood his thought process. A broken mind can shut a body down in order to repair itself...He grabbed the keys to the Impalla, "Let's go, now!" He knew this was another trial, another way to make sure he had truly given his heart over. He would not fail. He could not fail.

Dean hastily carried the small woman to the black car. Cas opened the back door as Dean eased into the seat, still clutching her to his chest. Sam got behind the wheel and Cas in the passenger's seat. As they sped down the highway, there was no fear. Each man was at peace. They felt the warmth of strong arms protectively encircling them. Deep in their hearts, they knew they were not alone.

* * *

The Emergency Room at St. Eustachius Memorial Hospital was quiet...That is before Dean burst through its doors carrying the unconscious woman. Sam and Castiel followed a few feet behind. If the entrance hadn't been enough to frighten the elderly receptionist, the frenzied look in his green eyes had been.

"Help her! She won't wake up…"his voice was hoarse. He sounded strained as if he his vocal cords were bruised. Indeed they were. It was everything he could do to keep from screaming at the top of his lungs. The tension from holding it in stressed the small nodules.

"Sir, can you tell me what happened?" she asked calmly. Dean's eyes flashed and Castiel cut him off before he could blast the woman with profanities.

"We were at a bachelor party for my soon to be brother-in-law," pointing at Dean. "When we came back to the motel, my sister was laying on the bed. We tried to wake her, but she isn't responding." Sam looked at him with his eyes wide, 'brother-in-law?' they questioned. Castiel stared forward looking intently at the elderly woman.

"Come through the double doors on the side, hun. The first bed on the right is for her. The doctor is on his way." Dean hurried through the doors. "You two will have to have a seat." The woman, in her early 70's, was surprisingly full of life. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at the two attractive men. "Just have faith, dearies," she smiled as she followed Dean.

* * *

The man with the green eyes stood beside the pretty woman. He protectively held her hand and stared down anyone coming close. Like a mother bear protecting her cub, he wouldn't let anyone come near if he felt they were a threat. He terrified the nursing staff and made the doctor feel uneasy. The little old lady paid him no attention as she moved to his side.

"Sonny, you are the fiancée?" He nodded in response. "Ok. Then you have some paper work to fill out. My name is Agnes and I'm the clerk. All of these people are here to help you, Mister…?"

"Winchester. Dean Winchester. This is Kay. Kay Cristos."

"Well, Mr. Winchester, everyone is here to help Kay. We can't do anything if you don't let us. To be perfectly honest, you are scaring the staff and I'm not going to allow it. So you have a choice…You can quit looking at everyone like you are gonna rip their heads off and fill these papers out here with the doctor and the nurses examine her…Or, you can be escorted out into the waiting room to fill out the paperwork while they examine her. The choice is yours, but you better be quick. We need to start assessing her condition." The woman was stern yet gentle. She understood his protectiveness. She had been the same way when her husband had been brought in the last time…

"Ok, Agnes. Call me Dean." He looked at the doctor, "I'm sorry…she's my everything, please help her." The tears that he had been fighting so valiantly broke free. The levee burst and they flowed like a river down his handsome face.

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

"Fiancé? Where did you pull that from?" Sam questioned Castiel as they sat in the waiting room. He was on edge and with Dean currently occupied, there was no one to help calm his nerves.

"I do not know. It just came to me…I'm not accustomed to lying, Sam. I feel very guilty," the former Angel was visibly distraught over the turn of events. "Thou shall not bear false witness…" he began. Sam cut him off before he could finish.

"There are things that you have to learn if you are going to be human, Cas. First, sometimes it is okay to bend the truth. You were protecting everyone. Besides, did you see the look on Dean's face? You probably just saved that poor old woman from having a heart attack! He can make a sailor blush when he is that pissed." They both chuckled, the tension slowly beginning to ease. "I need to call Bobby and let him know what is going on. He is probably about to have a fit." Castiel nodded as Sam took out his cell and walked toward the door.

* * *

Things were different. Now human, Castiel could no longer see inner workings of people's hearts. He did not have the constant din of thoughts coming at him. He took in a deep breath and…relaxed. He surveyed his surroundings and made not of every detail, from the crack on the third tile on the right of the nurses' station, to the piece of purple chewing gum stuck to the bottom of the fifth maroon chair against the west wall. He was seeing things for the first time. Like a toddler discovering a sweet milkshake, he drank it all in deeply. When he came to the white sign with red letters, "St. Eustachius Memorial Hospital", he let out a long sigh and grinned. 'How ironic? We are at the hospital of the Patron Saint of Hunters…' he thought to himself. Calmness came over him as he mulled this thought in his mind. Everything was going to work out. The Signs were everywhere. If only everyone could see through untainted eyes, they would see that God is speaking to them on a daily basis. He smiled at the realization and leaned back to wait patiently for the next message to come through.

* * *

"Hey, Bobby. Its Sam…Yes, Dean is fine…You wouldn't believe me if I told you…We are at a Hospital right now, we are okay. Kay isn't…Could we come to stay with you for a while once things are settled here?...Thanks…I'll let you know when we head out." Sam sighed with relief. At least they had a place to go if…no when Kay got out of here. He didn't want to think of the alternative.

He came back inside, settling in the chair next to Cas. The man still looked angelic. His face was serene as he sat back, hands clasped behind his head, eyes closed, and a peaceful smile on his face. He was human, but he still had a grace about him. He still seemed pure and holy. Sam longed to feel that kind of tranquility. He desperately wanted to stop the torrent of emotions that churned in his stomach. He was in a constant state of worry, for his brother, for Kay. He no longer felt guilty or tormented by hatred, but he could not shake the anxiety building in his chest.

The receptionist came over carrying a clipboard and some papers. She was smiling warmly at the two men. "Hi, guys. I have some papers that need to be filled out, insurances stuff, patient history, yada yada. Dean doesn't seem like he is calm enough to take care of this, so I'll have you do it. You're her brother, correct?" She spoke to Castiel, her eyes twinkling. Though her grey hair and wrinkled skin yelled her age, her eyes were that of a vibrant young woman. They would have to tread carefully with this one; she was sharp as a tack.

Cas blinked quickly as he took the papers. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Please, call me Agnes, dear. And what are your names?" She quizzed as she offered her worn, knotty hand.

"I am Castiel…Please call me Cas. This is Dean's brother, Sam."

"Oh, now isn't that sweet! Are you two…" her eyebrow raised with the open ended question.

"NO!" Sam almost shouted. "I mean, we are not together, if that is what you are implying," he blushed as he had made the poor lady jump. Why did everyone assume he was gay?!

"I didn't mean to offend you, hun. It's just not every day you see two handsome, straight men sitting so close together…It's not my place to judge, deary. Just trying to make small talk. When you finish the paperwork, bring it to my desk," she winked at him and shuffled off to her desk.

"What did she mean, Sam?" His face was puzzled.

"She thought we were a couple," Sam huffed. The innocent man to his left just looked at him blankly. Sam leaned closer and whispered in his ear the meaning of being a gay couple.

"HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?" his voice was louder than he had expected. Castiel blushed as Agnes giggled from her seat. He was thankful that they were the only ones in the Emergency Room at that time of night. Sam chuckled as he helped the child-man fill out the paperwork. There was some much he needed to teach him. At least he now had something to keep his mind busy. He didn't want to think anymore. The more he did, the more he realized that he was so completely and utterly lonely.


	13. Chapter 13

**I apologize for the delay in the update. Things have been really hectic lately at work and then I couldn't login for some reason...I'm going to work my fingers off until I can get this story completed. I hope you are enjoying where it is going and if you have any thoughts, praises, or** **complaints, please let me know. I have a vision in my mind of where I want to take this, but you guys are the readers...I am a slave to you and whatever you want, I will try to give you! ALSO: If you have any ideas on another story that you would like to see, I'm open to suggestions. Thank you for all of the reviews. Primadonna, if you read this, YOU ARE AWESOME! -Kat**

* * *

"Mr. Winchester…we are at a loss. All of Kay's tests are normal. There is no physical reason for the coma. It's been two weeks and there hasn't been any change," the blonde doctor spoke calmly to a grisly looking Dean. He had not moved from her side, not when they took her to the CAT scan, not when they transferred her from the ER to the ICU and now to the longer term care ward. His eyes were bloodshot; his face was lined with worry and exhaustion. His hands shook a mixture of too much coffee, lack of sleep, and anxiety.

"So what does all of this mean? Is she going to wake up?" he managed to strangle the words from his throat. He couldn't break now. She needed him to be strong, to speak for her while she couldn't do it herself.

"We honestly don't know." The young doctor's face was a poster for blank professionalism, yet his voice cracked with emotion. He felt pangs of sympathy for the couple. Both young, attractive, and on the verge of a new life together, just to have the rug pulled from underneath them, their bright futures dimmed without warning.

"What do I need to do? She can't stay like this. Look at her! She's wasting away right before my eyes; now tell me how to fix this DAMN IT!" Dean yelled. He couldn't contain it anymore, all of the pent up emotions shot like a canon from his mouth. His defenseless target was stunned. The doctor's feelings of helplessness exuded from his brown eyes.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage before he stepped out of the room. Thinking of his new bride and what he would feel if she were cut down by some invisible sniper as Kay had been, he vowed to find a way to help them. The love he had for his wife was his lifeblood. From the look of complete despair in those green eyes, he knew Dean felt the same about Kay.

* * *

Sam walked into the room and was hit with overwhelming sadness. His brother, the strong and unbreakable Dean, was a mess. His manly bravado had disappeared as he lay beside Kay in the hospital bed. He had curled up beside the sleeping beauty and was weeping. His body was wracked with sobs. This was the first time Sam had ever seen him with a beard. For two weeks, Dean has subsisted off of coffee and nothing else. He hadn't slept for more than an hour at a time, those hours few and far between. The dark circles ringed his eyes like a cheesy comic book hero's mask. His once lean body looked wasted, having dropped ten pounds that he didn't have to spare. Worry creased the younger brother's brow. He couldn't stand by and watch Dean kill himself with grief and worry.

"Dude, you look like hell and you smell like ass. Go with Cas. He'll take you to the apartment so you can get a shower and some rest. I'll stay here."

"Apartment? What are you talking about?" Dean was so tired, so confused. "I can't leave what if she wakes up?"

Hadn't Sam told Dean that they found a rental? It was more logical to have a place nearby rather than continually waste money at the motel. Hadn't he told Dean that he and Cas had found work with the crew doing restorations on the Cathedral? The funds they had were limited and the only way they could afford to stay while Kay was in the hospital was to get honest work. "Dean, remember? I told you I would look for work and a place to stay when they transferred Kay to this ward."

"Oh…yeah. I must have forgotten." Truth be told, Dean didn't remember much of anything. He was so focused on the woman in bed, he blocked everything else out. "Maybe I should go check this place out…make sure the salt lines are intact and stuff."

"Sure. I'll call you if there is any change." Sam knew the salt lines were intact, he had just checked them. But as long as it would get Dean out of this room, into the sunshine, and into a shower, he wouldn't say a word. "Just make sure you shave that crap off your face, will ya? You are starting to look like a damn mountain goat."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

* * *

The ride to the apartment was silent. It felt good to be behind the wheel of his baby again. He could already feel the fog lifting from his head. Yes, he was exhausted. Yes, he desperately needed a shower! Castiel opened the door and showed the elder Winchester where his clothes were and where the bathroom was.

"While you are getting cleaned up, I will make you something to eat. " He held his hand up when Dean tried to argue, "You will eat, and you will take a nap. That is not up for discussion, now go." The look in the man's eyes said he wasn't taking 'no' for an answer and Dean was too tired to fight.

The warm water felt refreshing against his aching muscles. Two weeks of dozing in a chair had taken its toll. He was sore from head to toe. Knots of tension filled his neck and back. He began to wash his hair and reveled in the scent of the shampoo…was that lilacs? He glanced at the bottle, yup…lilacs…"Damn, Sammy! You are such a girl!" He poured the body wash onto his rag, kneading and massaging his weary muscles. He stood under the shower, water flowing over him, washing away the frustration and stiffness in his body. When the water started to cool, he turned off the faucet, grabbed a towel and stepped out. After drying his hair and body, he tied the towel around his waist. He examined himself in the mirror. His face was sunken, his eyes hollowed with dark rings under them. The two weeks' worth of beard was unkempt and completely not Dean. He began to neatly trim it. When he was close enough to shave without causing too much damage, he lathered his skin with shaving cream. Within minutes, the forest of hair was gone and he began to feel more like himself. He brushed his teeth, threw some gel in his hair, and began to dress.

He emerged from the bathroom feeling rejuvenated and hopeful. His earlier unease washed way with the dirty water. He inhaled deeply and was comforted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee and bacon….mmmm…bacon. His stomach growled in anticipation.

"So whatcha making?"

"Bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches. Sam introduced them to me and I truly believe they are a gift from Heaven!" His eyes brightened and a joyful smile etched itself on the ex-Angel's face. Dean smiled at the innocence. It was a breath of fresh air to him.

"Sounds great. Let's eat."

* * *

Sam was reading when she walked in. He glanced up and almost fell out of his chair. The woman before him was the spitting image of Jess…He stared unabashedly, his mouth gapped open like a fish gasping for air.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Jennifer Stevens. I am a Physical Therapist and I am here to do some mobility exercises on Kay." She offered her dainty hand. Sam was surprised at the strength of her grip as he clasped his hand with hers.

"I'm Sam, Dean's brother. I sent him home to get a shower and some rest," he blubbered. He felt like an idiot as he rambled on about Dean not taking care of himself. She was beautiful, just as he had remembered. Her hair was like spun gold, it reflected shades of platinum and honey under the iridescent lights. Her skin was ivory and looked so soft…he hopelessly wanted to reach his hand out to caress her cheek. She had rosy pink, kissable lips, and her smile was sunshine, she lit up the very room. She was Jess made over, except for the eyes. Where Jess's had been a warm, chocolate brown, hers were a crystal clear blue. The sky, in a need to make itself more magnificent, had borrowed the color from her eyes.

"Well, Sam, since Dean isn't here, I'll teach you what I am doing. When he gets back, page me and I'll come back to teach him too. These exercises are very important to keep her joints from locking. She is a petite woman. In just these two weeks, her muscles have already begun to atrophy. We want to stop that before it gets worse. When she wakes up, it will be difficult for her to stand, much less walk. These modalities will help ease some of those difficulties and hopefully speed her recuperation."

"So, you think she is going to wake up?" A glimmer of hope was born in the gloom of Sam's heart.

"Of course I do. I am a strong believer that anything is possible. I have seen paraplegics regain feeling in their legs. I have seen double amputees walking with the use of prosthetics. Anything can happen if you just believe it will. I believe that Kay has a lot of people that love and care for her, that she can feel that and it will be the reason she comes out of this."

"The other doctors haven't been so optimistic. They don't know why she is in the coma, and it seems like they just gave up on her."

"Well, Sam, I'm not other doctors. I know that there is something higher than us at work. When it is time for her to wake up, she will. I have faith in that." She smiled warmly at him as she patted his hand. "Now, come on, we have some work to do."


	14. Chapter 14

The weeks turned into months. Sam and Jennifer were slowly becoming more than friends. It took him two months of endless flirting and banter before she had asked him out. At first, he was shocked, 'Jess would never ask a guy out…she was very old fashioned in that sense…' Sam constantly had to remind himself that Jenny wasn't Jessica.

She picked him up from the apartment, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. She wore a pale blue tank top and low slung jeans. She knew that the outfit accentuated her curves and showed off her toned stomach. She knew that she was tired of flirting and could no longer resist the fire burning between her thighs.

Sam walked out of the apartment, wearing jeans and a red polo shirt. His skin was tanned from working outside at the Cathedral. His muscles rippled as he walked. The sun shone from behind him, glinting off the highlights in his hair. He looked like a Greek god, chiseled to perfection.

"So, where are we going?" he asked.

"I thought we could go on a picnic. It's a beautiful day."

"Sounds great to me." They clasped hands as they headed to her SUV. Warmth swirled in Sam's chest. He gave her a dimpled smile as he walked her to the driver's side. Opening the door, he helped her up the step to be seated. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip as she looked at him, now face to face. Her hand came up and she caressed his cheek, drawing him closer. Their lips met, and their hearts raced. It was their first kiss of many to come.

* * *

Castiel enjoyed working with his hands. Restoring the cathedral was hard, labor intensive work. Slowly, they were being rewarded for their diligence. The church was returning to its former glory. He looked at the old building, with flying buttresses and beautiful stained glass windows. The scenes in them depicted the Archangel Michael defeating Lucifer in Armageddon. With a chuckle, he thought "Michael doesn't have blonde hair. It's more of a strawberry blonde color. Lucifer hadn't looked afraid, he was actually smirking. He had just told Michael he was 'Dad's bitch.' If people only knew…"

While he missed the warmth of being in his Father's presence, he did not regret being human. In the months since his metamorphosis from Angel to human, he had learned a multitude of things. He now knew what hunger and thirst felt like. He knew what real laughter was. He turned to look at the redhead named Jill who was overseeing the restoration. He now knew what desire was…

* * *

Dean spoke quietly as he continued the therapy on Kay's limbs. "So somehow, Sam managed to get us new identities with the same names. I'm glad, I like my name. It was weird though, cuz our new birth certificates have different birthdates and parents…I'm not sure if I like that, but it has to be. At least he put my age younger! I wasn't ready to be in my 30's!" He chuckled. The sound was forced. His red rimmed eyes told of his true feelings. Those hazel-green eyes were filled with hopelessness. She should be awake by now…he needed to see her open her eyes…he needed to hear her voice…

"Sam also managed to hack into Stanford's files. He transferred his credits into the college here. He's finishing his law degree, can you believe it? He has a couple of more months until graduation and then the bar exams. Go figure, a Winchester working with the law! "He moved from her right leg to her left. Gently extending and flexing the leg at the knee and bringing it up at the hip. The muscles had wasted, she was beyond tiny now. She looked like a sleeping child now. Small, fragile, breakable. He was gentle with her, but firm. In order for the therapy to be effective, it had to be that way. "I got a job as a mechanic. Good hours. They let me come in at 9 so I can come here with you in the mornings. I get off at 5 so I can come have dinner with you. Honey, I know it's hard, but will you please open your eyes for me?" He moved up to her left shoulder. He watched her intently, searching for any sign that she had heard his request. He massaged her joints and put her hand in his. A tear fell from his eyes as he saw no evidence of her hearing. But he continued the rehabilitation and hoped that she heard.

A knock at the door startled him. He turned to see Bobby standing in the doorway…wait, Bobby was standing!

"What the?! How did this happen?" his voice was mixed with joy and suspicion. Did his old friend do what he thought?

"Hey, boy!" the older man walked to his side and clapped him on the back. He was grinning from ear to ear. A light shone in his eyes, a light filled with hope and gratefulness. "Before you ask, no, I did not make a deal. You idjit. I'm not stupid, like some people I know…" He growled, remembering Dean's deal.

"Then how?"

"Believe it or not, I think she has something to do with it…" he said as he thumbed towards Kay.

"That's impossible. She's been in a come for almost 6 months."

"I'm tellin' ya, it's her doin." Bobby pulled up chairs and they sat beside Kay as he told of the "dream".

"And then I woke up. My toes were tingling…I could actually feel my toes! That was 5 months ago. Now I have full control of my legs again. Dean, I'm tellin' ya, she did this for me. I don't know how, I don't know why, but she did. In the dream, she didn't say a word, just smiled at me and put her hand on my head."

"I don't get it. She hasn't shown any improvements. Is this even Kay or is it just her shell? I can't do this anymore! I want her back, Bobby! I just want her back!" He gasped. He looked deflated. If he had any tears left, they would have drenched his face. But after 6 months, there were no more tears. His face just crumbled and it was as if Bobby could hear the last bit of hope in Dean's heart shatter.

"I've been thinking…What if she is stuck? Like she's in a dream world? Remember what happened when that turd slipped into my dreams?"

"Yeah…you were out for a while…but for 6 months? That's one hell of a dream!"

"Maybe it's not so much as dream, as a mission…Like she has to make things just right before she will wake up."

"How so?'

"Think about it…Sam is going back to school, has found a girl that he obviously cares about; Castiel has found something that he loves to do and has his first crush…Hell, boy! I am walking! Now you tell me, if it doesn't sound like she's making things the way you want. You tell me, if she isn't doing everything she can to make you happy for once?!"

Dean looked at the sincerity in his friend's eyes. Bobby was more like a father than his own father had been. He was logical, methodic, and sometimes cruel in the way he came across, but he did not lie. He did not throw theories out without making damn sure he knew what he was talking about.

"So how do I let her know that I need her to wake up to make me truly happy? I talk to her on a daily basis. I tell her I need her to look at me. Nothing has worked…" Dean's hands began to tremble. He just needed to hear her say his name…

"African dream root…it managed to get you boys to wake me up. I know it's risky…"

"I don't care about the risk. I want my Kay back."

"I thought you might say that…" Bobby produced a small bag from his pocket.

"Let's do it." Risk or no risk, Dean would do whatever it took to get Kay back. Bobby shut the door and began to prepare the tea. Dean leaned towards Kay's ear. "I'm coming to bring you home, baby."


	15. Chapter 15

Dean arranged himself on the bed beside Kay as Bobby began making the tea. The African Dream Root was not the best tasting stuff, and Dean was not looking forward to forcing it down. But if it meant he would have Kay back, it didn't matter that the stuff tasted like fifty year old gym socks.

"I hope this works," he mumbled to himself as he downed the cup of foul brackish liquid. His eyes became heavy and he quietly fell back on the bed.

Bobby looked down at the man and woman lying side-by-side. They were facing each other, even unconscious; the need to be together was instinctual. "I hope this works, boy. You deserve to finally have some peace." The older man pulled his ball cap off his head and ran his fingers through his graying hair. Settling into the uncomfortable hospital chair, he opened an old, leather bound book and began reading. It was going to be a long night…

* * *

Sam and Jen had finished the picnic just as it began to sprinkle. They hurriedly began packing up the blanket and leftover food. The rain started to come down heavier and they laughed as they raced to the vehicle. Throwing the picnic basket in the backseat, Sam laughed as he turned to see Jennifer slip into a puddle of mud.

"Here, let me help you up." He tried to hide his laughter as he put out his strong hand to assist her, but his eyes twinkled with the hilarity. As she grasped his hand, a mischievous smile spread across her lovely face. A naughty glint came into her sapphire eyes as she caught him off balance and sent him tumbling next to her, mud splattering his face and covering his clothes.

"Hey!!" Sam tried to stand up, slipping and falling. Every time one would try to get up, they would fall into a laughing heap.

"Okay…" Jen giggled. "We need to work together in order to get up. Take my hands. On the count of three, you push into me, I will push into you. We will counterbalance each other and be able to get up. One…Two…Three." Slowly, they got to their feet, both breathing heavy with the repressed laughter. Then it happened, Sam looked into her eyes, she looked into his. The connection, the uninhibited need, was apparent. "I think I'm falling in love with you, Sam," Jennifer blushed. Panic and anxiety filled her chest, what did she just say?! He is gonna bolt…

"I think I'm falling for you too," he whispered, as he pulled her close. He clasped his hand behind her neck, tilting her face towards his. He lowered his mouth to hers and tenderly kissed her lips. What started as a gentle show of affection quickly became a heated. The craving for intimacy became too much for them to control. Sam wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her frame. She locked her arms around his neck, pressing deeply against his hard body. He ran his hands down her back and over the curve of her hips. With one quick, fluid motion, he lifted her body up, pulling her lean legs around his waist. He carried her to the SUV. There were no lucid thoughts going through his head, desire took over. The feral hunger to taste, touch, and feel was all consuming and they were both caught in its wake.

* * *

"Kay? Kay! Where are you?" Dean searched through the mist. It was damp and dreary. Why was her mind so dark? He kept moving forward. Unease began to creep up his spine. His eyes darted back and forth, searching for some source of light in the gloom. With his sight diminished, his hearing became amplified. He focused on the background noise. He quickly picked up on a faint melodic tune that was coming from the shadows. Closing his eyes, he used his ears to follow the sound.

"Sonofabi…" he murmured as he face planted into the moss. "Damn roots," he cursed as he brushed himself off. He gasped as he glanced up. There she was…but it wasn't the Kay he knew. Instead of the vivacious woman he had fallen in love with, there sat an innocent, fresh faced little girl. She wore a white sundress with tiny pink hearts on it. Her long auburn hair tumbled past her shoulders to her waist. She was singing softly to the dolls she played with. Each doll looked like miniature copies of the Winchesters and the people in their lives. Dean made his way to her.

"Kay? Sweetie, what are you doing?" he soothed as he sat down beside her.

"Hi. I am playing with my dollies," her voice tinkled like bells. She beamed up at him, her face a glow. "They are happy now. See!" She shoved the little Bobby doll into Dean's big hands. "He isn't stuck in that stinky old chair anymore. I got him unglued!"

"Yes, you did, honey," he smiled. "What else have you done?"

"Well, Sam was always sad. He never smiled. He looked like he lost his teddy…so I gave him something else to hug. And this guy," she held up Castiel, "he was like the Tin Man: hollow. He didn't know how to feel. Now he does, and he has a friend to help him learn!" The corners of her eyes crinkled, and the green orbs sparkled with excitement as she pointed to a small female doll. It was plain next to the exquisite Cas doll. Dean smirked. Cas has a girlfriend…

"What about those two dolls?" he inquired as he pointed at the Mini-Dean and Mini-Kay. The dolls were on opposite sides of her lap. Both looked like they were in anguish.

"Oh…those two…" the little girl's smile faded. The twinkle disappeared from her eyes. "They aren't happy yet. I don't know what to do…" her eyes glistened with tears. "Do you know what will make them happy?"

"Well, sweetie," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a warm, comforting hug, "I think they would be happy if they were together. Don't you think? "

"I guess. I hadn't thought of that…it makes sense though, doesn't it?"

"I think it makes perfect sense, darling'." Dean hugged her close causing her to giggle as she placed the Dean and Kay dolls next to each other, hand-in-hand.

* * *

"Wait…ohmygo…wait, Sam." Jen wanted nothing more than to give in to the heat. More than anything, she wanted to feel Sam's naked skin against her own. The thought of his strong arms wrapped around her, his taught, muscular body pressing into hers…if she didn't care so damn much, it would be far too easy to just have sex right then and there. Being in the back of her SUV, would not have mattered at all. But Sam deserved better. "Sam…not here," she finally gasped against his shoulder. He pulled his lips back from the bend of her neck. His eyes burned with lust, the intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"I…I'm sorry. I don't know…" Sam began to stammer. His face reddened with embarrassment as he sat back in the seat. He desperately tried to cover the large, rather obvious bulge in his pants. A wave of guilt washed over him. Had he come on too strong, too quickly?

"Hey…I want to just as much as you do, but not here, not like this. I want it to be special…" she stammered. "I sound like a damn high school debutante don't I?" she laughed.

"No, I understand. I wasn't just telling you that I was falling for you to get in your pants. I have never been able to do the love 'em and leave 'em thing," he said in a low, husky voice. His hazel eyes looked up through shaggy bangs. He flashed his dimples as he took her hand in his.

"Let's go back to my place," she smirked as she started the SUV. Mud flew through the air as they sped off.

* * *

Dean jerked awake. His eyes squinted against the bright fluorescent hospital lights. Bobby raised an eyebrow, "You okay, boy?"

"I will be!" He jumped from the bed and took his place next to Kay. He held her hand and leaned down kissing her cheek. "Baby…Kay, I know you can hear me. Wake up for me. You want me to be happy? Then wake up and show me those beautiful eyes. I love you. I miss you. I need you. Please…Please…" His voice cracked with restrained emotion. He hugged her close, his cheek pressed tightly against hers. A lonely tear escaped from the prison made by his lashes, leaving a damp trail down his cheek and onto Kay's.

"De…Dean?"


	16. Chapter 16

Castiel and Jill walked hand in hand down the sidewalk. The passersby looked at the odd couple, their smiles a mixture of confusion and awe at the obvious adoration. To the outside world, it was an unmatched pairing. Castiel was ethereally stunning. His dark hair was a beautiful contrast to his startling blue eyes. His features were an exquisite blend of utter masculinity and feminine grace. Handsome wasn't a strong enough word, he was beautiful…Jill, on the other hand…Jill was ordinary. Her curly red hair was always in an unruly bun or ponytail. Her freckled skin was pale, almost translucent. She was short and completely average, but when she smiled a light radiated and sense of comfort and warmth spread to anyone in her path. She was innocence personified.

The attraction was not purely physical, it was spiritual. Both had an unwaivering faith and bonded from the minute they met. Their friendship quickly grew into something more. After sharing the first magical kiss a month after their first date, they had become inseparable. The idea of sharing a bed was very tempting, but Cas would not allow it. He would not go against His teachings: Marriage first. Jill had been quietly relieved when they discussed it, she was a virgin.

Prayer had led Castiel to his decision. He had fasted and fervently asked for guidance. He diligently saved his extra money and searched for the perfect ring. He nervously fingered the velvet box in his jacket pocket. It wasn't ornate. Jill wasn't a flashy person. When he found the right one, it was like a revelation. It had practically called his name. He had found it while looking through an antique store. There were two delicate hearts, each with a small diamond in the center surrounding the larger oval diamond. The thin gold band was aged, the ring had lived a long life filled with love. It had been made in 1910 for a young businessman. He wanted something special to use to propose to his childhood sweetheart. It had been passed through the generations of that family. Each couple it touched lived a long, happy life together. The final owner had been unable to have children and it had been purchased at an estate sale. Now, it would begin another chapter with a new family…

* * *

The SUV shuddered as it was thrown into park. Jennifer and Sam jumped from the vehicle, racing in the rain to the covered porch. Sam held her from behind as she fumbled with the keys. The door swung open with a bang. Effortlessly, he picked her up in his arms, quieting her protests with a passionate kiss. As their tongues danced, he kicked the door closed. He shifted her body into one arm as he locked the door with his now free hand. She managed to wriggle around, pressing her firm breasts against his muscular chest. With a feline grace and flexibility, she wound herself around and latched her legs around his waist.

"The bedroom is upstairs…"she gasped against his lips. Her hips moved with a mind of their own, grinding and swirling against the ever growing bulge in his jeans. A soft moan escaped his lips as he pushed against her, making sure she felt his excitement. Their hands explored as he carried her up the stairs and into the bedroom.

She loosened her leg lock and stood before him. With one fluid motion, her shirt was lying on the floor. Her hands edged the hem of his polo up and over his head. She leaned in and nibbled his earlobe, teasing with teeth and tongue. Sam wrapped her in his strong, well-defined arms. His fingers pressed into her skin when she ran her fingernails over his broad shoulders and down to his narrow waist. He trailed kisses down her neck, nipping playfully along the way. A shuddering breath came from Kay and he could feel her begin to quiver with repressed need. She fumbled with the button on his jeans, her fingers shaking with excitement. He traced his fingers along her spine before squeezing her firm buttocks. His jeans fell to the floor and he stepped forward, out of the heap. The boxer briefs strained as they tried to contain his granite erection. With a flick of his wrist, Jen's jeans fell to the ground as well, revealing a deep red, see-through lace thong. Sam moaned with pleasure at the beautiful site.

They inched closer to the bed, their skin on fire. She tangled her hands in his hair as he gripped her thighs and wrapped them around his waist, the thin barrier of cloth allowing the warmth and wetness to come through. They panted as she swiveled her hips against him, the friction heightening their arousal. He climbed onto the bed and guided her to lie down. He kissed, licked, and nipped his way down her body. He captured her nipples in his mouth, the soft warmth of his tongue circling as his satin lips sucked. He looked up at the flushed woman, writhing under him. Her breath was coming in gasps. Her heavy lidded eyes stared into his. The pleasure he saw made his stomach flutter, his own desire growing even more. She bit her bottom lip and a fire flashed in her eyes. He grazed the nipple he was worshipping with his teeth and a loud cry rang out. "OHGOD!SAM!"

"Jen…" he moaned as he licked down her belly. His hands followed, stroking down her body and quickly removing the lacey obstacle. He made quick work of the now torturous boxer briefs. His manhood stood erect, swollen and throbbing. She grasped it in her hand and slowly began to stroke. He groaned with delight as her touch sent waves of pleasure through his body. His eyes rolled, and he closed them, trying to control his breathing. Something soft and silky was now touching him. He reeled at the sensation. He opened his eyes to see her staring up at him, his hardness fully enveloped with her mouth. She winked up at him and flicked her tongue in a way that made him arch his back in response. "FEELSODAMNGOOD…" he rasped in a husky, lust-filled voice. She hummed in response, making his toes curl.

He was far too close and did not want this paradise to end so quickly. He placed his hand on her cheek and tugged her up. They kissed deeply, tongues wrestling for dominance. Somehow, she managed to use his own momentum to flip him and Sam stared in wonder as he lay flat on his back. A mischievous glint flared in her eyes as a seductive smirk touched her lips. Before he could say anything, she lowered herself onto him. He was sheathed tightly in warmth and bliss. Their bodies fit together like a glove and they fell into a slow, torturous rhythm. Wave after wave of ecstasy pounded them. Soon, they franticly arched and rocked together, groping, biting, panting, and moaning eachother's names, the hurricane of pleasure overwhelming them.

* * *

Dean's heart skipped a few thousand beats. He pulled back and stared into Kay's sparkling green eyes…Green eyes! Her eyes are open!

"Kay! I'm right here. I'm right here, baby. Bobby, go the doctor! She's awake!" In his excitement, Dean looked like an overeager puppy. His thoughts were erratic and his chest was tight. He couldn't slow down his breathing. He looked at her again, his hand clutching hers to his chest. He leaned forward, inches from her face. She smiled, tried to lean up for a kiss, but could barely move. She had no strength.

"Hey, hun. You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

Dean sheepishly glanced away. The slight sheen of tears could be seen on his lashes as he looked back. "I haven't. You have been in a coma for almost 8 months…" his voice cracked. The manly curtain of confidence and bravado was pulled back, exposing a scared little boy hiding behind. "I thought I had lost you…" he whispered, as if saying it too loud would make it come true.

"8 months? I…I don't remember…OH, GOD! Sam?! Is he okay?" Panic flashed in her eyes. Had she been able to save him?

"Sammy is fine, you fixed him. Do you remember exactly what happened?"

"Not really. I just remember seeing your face…I could feel your heart break when you pulled him down. Those tears…it broke you. I could feel what you were feeling…I couldn't let you hurt like that. I couldn't stand by and let you lose yourself…I disobeyed." Sorrow dripped from her words. Saying them out loud made the emotions come back. No one deserves to feel the sheer despair Dean had. It was too much for one soul to handle. She had made a vow in that house and with the kiss to Dean's lips, she had sealed it: She would do whatever it took to make sure he never suffered again. His young life had been filled with enough anguish for a million lifetimes and she would do whatever was necessary to give him the well deserved happiness he had earned.

"Welcome back, Ms. Cristos!" a jovial young doctor exclaimed. He had followed her case since the first day. The young couple had pulled at his heartstrings. He had made it a personal thing, as they reminded him of his newlywed relationship. The love that Dean had shown for his fiancée mimicked that he felt for his wife and he vowed to do everything he could to keep the young man from suffering a devastating loss. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel a little weak. Like I'm moving in mud."

"Well, that is to be expected. You have been bedridden for quite a while. Though Dean and the physical therapy team have been doing excercises with you, there is some fairly marked atrophy. It will take some time and some hard work, but you will regain your strength and muscle tone. I am going to do an exam and get some blood work done on you. Do you feel up to it?"

"Ok. When will I be able to go home?"

"Let's take things one day at a time for right now. I want to make sure you are ready for the big day when you leave," he said with a wink towards Dean.

"Big day?" she quizzed, confusion etched on her features. Dean blushed and shoved the laughing, vaguely protesting doctor out of the room. "What is he talking about?"

"Well…I know this isn't the way I wanted to do this, but…Cas sort of told the admissions people that , 1) he is your brother and 2)we are engaged," his breath hitched. He half expected a verbal onslaught and half hoped she would give him a smile.

"Oh, really?" she smirked. The heart monitor picked up pace as she looked at Dean. Could he really want…

He nestled next to her in the small bed. Pulling her onto his chest, he took her left hand into his. "I know this isn't the most romantic thing…You know I'm not a rich man. I don't have anything other than my Impalla that is worth a damn. But, if you…I can promise you…I can promise you that I will do everything I can to make you happy, to keep you safe, to love you for the rest of my life." He placed a soft kiss on her lips. With his forehead resting against hers, he stared into her eyes. The open vulnerability scared the hell out of him, more than any monster, demon, or other creepy crawly. He took a deep breath to gather his courage, "Will you marry me?"


	17. Chapter 17

Bobby cleared his throat, bringing Dean and Kay out of their moment. He had known the man sitting before him since he was in diapers; he wasn't the type to let people into his heart. "I'll let the doctor know you are awake," he said as he hastily exited the room, blushing as he looked at the two.

"Thanks," Dean choked, the tears of happiness he fought finding release in his voice.

"Anything you need, son."

Dean turned his attention back to the woman in his arms. "Are you gonna say something?" his happiness slowly giving away to anxiety. What would he do if she said no? His heart thumping loudly in his ears was deafening. He barely heard the whispered reply.

"Yes," she breathed. The light of love shining brightly in the emerald eyes he loved unconditionally.

The tears broke free from their bond, streaming down Dean's weary, yet handsome face. He pulled Kay to his chest, desperately holding on to the love of his life, his future. Words formed on his lips, but he could not speak. Words could not express the overwhelming joy that threatened to burst his heart at the seams.

* * *

"Jill, the moment I met you, I knew that you were special. You make me feel things that I did not know were possible. I cannot imagine what life would be like without you. I do not want to find out either." Castiel stopped, pulling the redhead close to him. He locked eyes with her, praying that she would be able to see the depth of his feelings for her.

"Cas, you know I love you, but where is all of this coming from?" she peered up at him. He was beautiful. Handsome did not come close to describing him. He was ethereal, more stunning than any human should be allowed. She flushed as thoughts of seeing what was beneath his clothing flashed through her mind. She felt insecure as people walked past; staring with awe at the angelic man looked at the homely young woman as if she were the only thing that mattered. How had she gotten so lucky? Was it a dream? Would she wake up to find herself alone once again?

He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before sinking to one knee. Holding her left hand, he pulled a small, blue velvet box from his pocket. She gasped as he opened it to expose a delicate ring.

"Will you…" the words were cut off with a passionate kiss that nearly knocked him over. The passing world was forgotten as they kneeled on the sidewalk, lost in their embrace.

* * *

Sam stretched his long body, relaxed and completely comfortable for the first time in years. He glanced down at the woman resting on his chest. Jen was amazing. She was vibrant, loving, sweet without being naive. She balanced him. She challenged him. He knew that the original reason he had been drawn to her was because she looked like Jess, but he had quickly learned that she was a stunning woman in her own right. Strong-willed and stubborn, they butted heads on occasion, but the vast majority of their time together was spent just talking. He had poured out his heart to her one drunken night, told her of the many pains of his past: never knowing his mother, a father who wanted soldiers instead of sons, losing his first love. He told her of the bond he had with his brother, the one constant in his life. He told her of the distance that had grown since his leaving for Stanford, of almost losing Dean from a "vicious attack". The only thing he kept from her was darkness that caused these things. How could he tell her that evil lurked around every corner, that Hell was real and that he once had demon blood running through his veins? Yes, he was different now. Kay's sacrifice had washed him "clean". He had asked and been given forgiveness. He wanted to protect her from the terrors that prowled the night, but how? Was it even possible?

"mmm…Sam, I'm starving. How 'bout you?" a sensually satisfied voice purred. Heavy lidded eyes gazed up at him. A please smile pulled at the corners of her kiss-swollen lips.

"I'm hungry, but food is the last thing on my mind…" The warmth of desire surged through him as he captured her full lips with his own. A low moan broke free as they pressed their nakedness together. Waves of excitement left them quivering and breathless with need. Metallica's "Enter Sandman" could faintly be heard over their panting.

"Dean…" Sam glanced at his jeans laying in a heap on the floor. He looked at Jen apologetically as he unwound himself to answer the phone.

"Hey…Really! That's great! We are on our way." He turned to his lady, pure joy radiating from his smile. "Kay is awake. Dean wants us to come to the hospital." He fumbled with his jeans. A laugh tinkled in the air.

"You are like a kid at Christmas. Just take a breath and slow down, cuz I'm going to get a shower before we go. There is no way I am going to meet the woman who managed to wrap the Dean Winchester around her finger smelling like sex. You can either wait in the living room…or you can join me," she trailed over her shoulder as she strolled to the bathroom. She winked and blew a kiss before disappearing through the door. The shower started and the scent of lilacs filled the air.

Sam looked from the door to the cell phone and back. Screw it…Dean had his woman. Cas had his woman. Then the light of realization switched on. A grin dimpled his face as Sam stripped of the jeans again. He had his woman too.


	18. Chapter 18

50 years later…

"Do you remember our first argument?" Dean asked. His voice sounded brittle and filled with pain. Tears filled his almost sightless eyes as the memory overtook him…

It had been two years since Kay woke up. Two years since the quiet ceremony in her hospital room that had forever connected them as man and wife. Her recovery was slow but steady during that time. The muscle atrophy had been extensive and the weakness in her legs proved to be a torturous challenge to overcome. Dean was with her for every excruciating step. He pushed her when she wanted to quit, forcing her to "Get a straw, babe, and suck that shit up. I can't do this for you." He's tough love brought out Kay's anger and gave her the strength to take just one more step. On the bad nights, he would hold her in his arms, rocking her like a baby, messaging her knotted muscles. Today was one of those days…

"I don't feel like going to the damn wedding, Dean. I know Cas and Jill are like family, but I don't want to go and get gawked at like some freak!" she screamed. She could walk, but only with the assistance of crutches…the kind that wrapped around the forearm. She felt 90 when she used them. How would it look for her to walk in the church with her husband, absolutely stunning in his tux walking next to a cripple trying to play dress up?

"What the hell makes you think that is going to happen? And even if people do look, do you think I give a damn?! You are my wife and I am proud to have you by my side. Now get your ass in the shower and get ready. We are leaving in 30 minutes." Dean was furious. His face was red with frustration. She did not see what others saw. She didn't know that even with the damn crutches and the slight limp, she was the most exquisite creature on earth. Her now shoulder length hair was a tumble of waves. Her eyes were mesmerizing. They captivated anyone she spoke to. Each time he looked at her, he fell in love all over again. He was tired of Kay putting herself down. Tonight was going to be their first night out as a married couple and dammit, she wasn't going to ruin his plans!

"Don't you try to order me around, Dean Winchester! I'm your wife, not your slave. I said I'm not going, and I AM NOT FUCKING GOING!!" Kay screamed as she started towards the bedroom. She was clumsy with rage and one of her crutches became tangled against the leg of the coffee table. Losing her balance, she began to fall. She couldn't stop it and she braced herself, covering her face as she was tumbling head first into the glass shelving of the entertainment center. She squeezed her eyes tight; waiting for the impact, the crash of glass, the searing pain of skin being cut…it never came.

"I've got you, baby," Dean whispered in her ear. Somehow he had managed to make it across the room and was now holding her in his strong arms. His face was awash in concern and sadness.

"How did you…" Kay blinked. Everything happened so fast. It wasn't possible!

"I will always be there to catch you…Look, I know you don't like people staring at you. But you know what? People have always stared at you, even before the crutches. You are beautiful and that draws people to you. I am the luckiest man in the world and I would be honored if you would allow me to escort you to the wedding. Please?" He tightened his grip, pulling her closer to his chest. He gazed in her eyes, his lips barely touching hers.

Kay couldn't think. Her head was swimming. He always had this effect on her. Guilt struck her. Dean rarely asked for anything. How could she deny him this simple thing? "Alright. Help me up and I'll get ready. But if you leave me by myself, you won't hear the end of this Mr. Winchester," she grinned against his lips.

"That will never happen, Mrs. Winchester," he smirked as he kissed her deeply, lustfully. Kay melted into him and any remnants of doubt or self-consciousness disappeared.

* * *

"It's been one year, three months, and thirteen days since you left me…Every day that I wake up, feels like I'm losing you again. It wasn't supposed to be like this, Kay. We were supposed to be together forever…After everything we lived through, demons, the freaking Apocalypse…you were taken from me by cancer," his breath hitched. Pain seared his chest once again. His heart was failing; it had been since the day she died in his arms. Tears fell from his eyes onto the roses he held in his knotted hands. He placed the bouquet on her grave, as he had done every day.

"I've lost everyone now. " Bobby had passed peacefully in sleep 20 years before. Jill had died giving birth to Annabelle. She and Cas had been married only ten years. Cas had raised their daughter as a widower. He never remarried, never even dated. The girl grew up in a home filled with love, Uncle Dean and Uncle Sam had made sure of that. He died 15 years ago from pneumonia. Sam and Jen had married. They had two children, Jonathan Dean and Mary Katherine. Three months ago, they were driving back from the movie theater when a drunk driver hit their car. The coroner said it had been instantaneous, no pain.

"I miss you so much, baby…" He scrubbed his hand across his wrinkled face. Losing Sam had been the straw that broke the camel's back. He was tired, broken. His nephew and niece lived across the country with families of their own. He would never burden them anyway. He was alone.

He grunted as rose from his knees. His bones ached from the cold ground. "I'm going home now. I will see you tomorrow. I love you," he smiled through his tears. He hobbled back to the Impala and drove back to the silent house that had once been filled with laughter and love.

* * *

Dean jerked awake. The pain in his chest was excruciating. He felt as if lightening were scorching through his veins. His left arm was numb. He tried to sit up, to reach for the telephone, but there was no strength in his body. A strangled sob broke from his lips. He was terrified. He did not want to die alone…

A pale white light began to glow at the foot of his bed. His heart pounded in his ears. The faint sound of fluttering wings could be heard as the light grew brighter. He closed his eyes as another wave of pain took his breath away. Then a familiar voice made him look up.

"I'll always be there to catch you…" Kay beamed down at him. It was Kay of youth. His blushing bride radiated love and peace as she came to his side. She placed her hand over his heart and the pain stopped. "It is time for you to come home, my love. We have missed you…"

Dean glanced over her shoulder and gasped. Everyone was there, smiling, welcoming him. Dad, Mom, Bobby, Sammy, Cas, Jen, and Jill gathered around the bed, each one reaching out to touch him, to reassure him.

"It's not the same without you, Dean. It's supposed to be perfect, but it can't be until you are with us, big bro…" Sam looked at him with those puppy eyes.

"You've done good, son. I'm so proud of you," John smiled.

"You were always a stubborn, idjit. Shoulda realized you would out live us all," Bobby teased.

"Your suffering is over, Dean. Father wants you to come home, to rest your weary head and let Him take care of you," Castiel declared. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Dean looked back at Kay. Her beauty was blinding. He wanted desperately to take her in his arms, to feel her once again.

"Are you ready?" she asked. He nodded. She leaned down. Her glowing form superimposed over his as she kissed his lips. His chest heaved one last time and his heart stopped. She grasped his hand in hers and pulled him up off the bed. She hugged him close as they walked side-by-side to their family. With a last stolen glance, the young Dean looked back at the bed. The body of Dean Winchester was still; he had finally found peace. He turned and walked with his family into a warm and uplifting light. He was going home.


End file.
